Real Friends Can Be Rare These Days(Being Your Own Best Friend).

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I was thinking recently how many of us defined the word "friendship" while we growing up. From my own perspective, I viewed my friends from my childhood and high school days like my brothers. I never based my handful of friends on how cool or popular they were, nor how much wealth their family had, or how I could personally benefit by being friends with them. There's a principal that I had, and I still hold it to this very day; if I like you as a person, then I like you for who you are. It seems like peoples' definition of friendship has changed quite a bit just like everything else in the world. I say this because it appears that these days, coming across real friends can be a rarity. It's okay though, sometimes you have to be your own best friend. Welcome to another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'.

Alright, alright what's good people? Hope everyone is doing well, staying up, and continuing to maintain. As you can tell, this week's blog post will entail my thoughts friendship, and how rare it seems it is these days to find real friends. I'm also going to briefly talk about why I think it's important to be your own best friend at times. Now as I mentioned earlier, it seems like friendship these days is just a word that people toss around like a ball. I'm not saying that this is the case with everyone. I do realize that there are people in the world that are real friends to others. In fact, I can say without a doubt that I have a couple of friends that I know are real friends to me.

So what defines a real friend to me? Well in my opinion, a true friend is a person that stands the test of time. A true friend is someone that is there for you whenever you pick up the phone to call them and if they're too busy to talk right then, they'll call you back whenever they get the chance. A true friend may not always agree with your thoughts and ideas about certain topics and issues, but if they do happen to disagree with you, they'll do it respectfully. More importantly, a real friend respects and supports you unconditionally. Real friends will want you to be happy, and they won't say or do anything to deter you from that. Those are some of the qualities and traits that I think about when I think of a real friend. Everyone has their own personal definition and expectations of what a real friend is, and there's nothing wrong with that at all.

As I pointed out before, I seem to be noticing these days that many people only want to be friends with someone because of what they can do for them. It almost seems like people that carry on like this don't care much about a person for who they are, they're more overly concerned with what you can do for them. The second that you can't do anything for them, they kick you to the curb like a field goal kicker would kick a football through the goal post. Terrible analogy right! At any rate, a lot of these people that aren't sincere in their intentions are not real friends in my opinion. If anything, I would classify people that think and carry on like this as being users, and we all know that there are definitely a lot of those hovering around these days.

There are several points that I want to drive home before ending this week's post. First off, do your research on people before you classify them as a friend of yours. If you want to know how to reveal a person's true intentions, just keep the word "time" in mind. Time truly reveals who is a true friend and who isn't. Secondly, don't be afraid to be your own best friend if need be. When I say be your own best friend, I'm talking about being comfortable with being alone for a bit, and not settling for other people that probably don't have your best interest in mind. Finally, view your life like it's simple math. If someone that you claim to be a friend is too busy for you, or isn't saying or doing anything to empower you, then it's maybe time to subtract them from your life. At the end of the day, everyone that you claim to be your friend should be adding to your life. I'm not adding from a materialistic or getting ahead standpoint. I'm talking about adding to your ideas, and helping you to want to become better.

Alright that's it for this week's edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'. I hope that anyone who read this post enjoyed it, and gained some meaning and understanding from it. As with all of my posts, everything mentioned applies to myself. Anything that I've written is what I attempt to apply to my own life. Whether you found it useful or not, I thank you for stopping by and taking out the time to read it. I'm going to go ahead and sign off for this time, so I hope everyone has a great weekend. See you in the next post. Peace!

You Don't Have to Pay These People Any Attention(Controlling Your Anger and Reactions Towards Others).

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Anger, frustration, hate, bitterness; words and emotions that are rehashed over and over again, but these words tend to describe how a lot of people these days feel more often than not. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that it's unnatural or not normal for us to become angry at times. I'll admit that being angry or frustrated at times is very normal, and you're sorely mistaken if you believe that there is no one person that gets mad from time to time. I'm one of those people that believes that some forms of anger are quite justified, while others aren't so much. I also believe that some people take their anger out on others unjustly, which can sometimes lead to damaged relationships. Then again, you can be one of those people that doesn't pay these people that seem to be angry a lot any attention. That's another option, one that I tend to prefer. Welcome to another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'.

So we're back at it once again. For this week's posting, we'll be getting into the topic of anger and how the majority of people react to others that come at them in an angry manner. As I stated earlier, being and becoming angry from time to time is quite normal. However, I believe that some of us allow anger to consume us. Now lets bring up a question to think about just for a sec. How do the majority of people react whenever someone comes at them with an attitude, or you happen to come across someone that is being rude? If you're one of those people that believe that most people would get an attitude right back or reciprocate that rudeness back towards the person, then you're probably right. It's amazing how seemingly small altercations and arguments break out because people choose to fight fire with fire.

There are times where fighting fire with fire is okay, and sometimes that's the only option left. However, there are also times when you can diffuse that fire with water. You don't have to pay nor give any attention to people that are angry, bitter, etc. Sometimes just walking away and letting a person be is the best option. In fact, walking away is sometimes the best option left to possibly show a person that their way of handling people isn't always right. On many occasions when people unjustly direct their anger towards you, they're doing it because they either want attention from you, or they're trying to get a rise out of you. There are many reasons and whatever they may be, you don't have to always fight fire with fire. Just like the saying "there's more than one way to skin a cat", there's always different methods and techniques you can use to combat against others besides becoming angry and belligerent.

What does anger really do for us? Lets think about a few things in regards to anger and what it does for you. Anger normally equates to doing and saying reckless things to others that you may not even mean at the time. It can cloud your judgement in most cases, and can result in you doing something that you'll likely regret down the road. A lot of angry people tend to have health problems like high blood pressure, and they seem to stay stressed out about so many times. I don't know about you, but I don't see a lot of benefits from being angry all the time. I was once that guy that allowed my anger to control me at times when I was a bit younger. Now that I've learned just to let certain things and people go, I've found that I'm more at peace within. Anger and stress are not things that I want to dominate my life.

I'm going to go ahead and end this week's post, but I'm going to sum everything up by saying this. You don't have to pay any attention to people that take their problems out on you and others. You can always choose to walk and and not deal with or confront them. I see anger as a form of control and when you lowering yourself to others level, you're relinquishing control of your mind and emotions over to them. Focus on your training your mind on controlling your anger and reactions to others. Just like I heard in a movie once; "An angry mind is a narrow mind." Invest your frustrations and anger into things that can better you, and never ever give a person more control over your than they deserve.

Well that's it for this week's 'Brad H.'s Perspective' post. This post like the rest of my posts apply to me and me alone. Anything that I've written here is intended to be viewed as advice that you can either take or not. Whether you found it useful or not, I thank you for taking out the time to read. Alright I'm signing out, so everything take care, stay up, and keep on maintaining. See you in the next post.

It's Not About Having Time, It's About Making Time.

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"Hey man, how's it going? Haven't heard from you in a while." "Oh I'm doing good man, just been busy." How many times have we heard conversations that started off that way? None of us could probably count how many times we've heard conversations that start off that way. If you're someone that wants to prove me wrong in that point and find yourself unable to, don't feel bad; it's really not all that surprising to frequently hear the phrase "I've been busy." Now besides these words not being unusual nor surprising, they're really both understandable and justifiable words at times. People in general are busier now more than ever in today's hectic world. But, and you know I'm gonna take it there, can a person really be too busy? Do we really have the time, and just don't make it for certain things and people? When these kinds of questions come to mind, it means that it's time for another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'.

So for this week's post, we'll be talking about time and the lack of it that so many of us claim to not have. As I mentioned earlier, I believe it's totally understandable for the average person to not have time for everything or everyone. In all honesty, it's just not feasible for a person to have the necessary time for everything or everyone. Any person that attempts to make time for everything and everyone in their lives will likely end up working their mind to the verge of insanity. I commend anyone who makes the effort, but taking on such an endeavor would be the equivalent of giving someone like Usain Bolt a head start in foot race. If you're not familiar with who Usain Bolt is, I'll just summarize by saying that it would definitely be an uphill battle in such a scenario.

I'm one of those people that believes that some of us use time and the so called lack of it as an excuse at times. I'm not even going to say that I haven't used this tactic before, but with growing in age and wisdom, I've come to realize that for as long as we're breathing, there always have an adequate amount of time. The problem is that many of us don't make time for those invaluable things in life that should be cherished, but we'd rather resort to using excuses in order to justify not making the necessary time for those things. One of the easiest examples that I can think of, and I'm sure some of you have heard this one before; "I don't have time to exercise or workout." I'm certain that you've heard someone say that before right? It's not my business what anyone else does with their life, but if a person has time to gossip or watch television all the time, then they likely have a little time to exercise. In that kind of scenario, exercise just isn't a priority for that individual.

Although the exercise example is just one example of many that could be used, it is a fact that we as people justify many of our shortcomings with excuses. The excuses that we use become a defense mechanism, which in turn gives us a false sense of comfort. Basically, we use excuses as a way to feel better about ourselves, even when in our minds we know we haven't always done the right thing. Now you're probably wondering what does any of this have to do with the topic of this post. Well, many of us claim that we don't have time for certain things or people in life; that is until we need them, or something bad happens. I always say that it shouldn't take anything bad happening to someone that is a close friend or relative to bring you closer to them. However, that unfortunately is the case with so many people today.

The main point that I want to get across this week is that if you're a person that tells someone who cares about you that you're too busy for them, then you probably don't deserve to have them in your life. Although life's priorities are important and time consuming, they should never deter you from maintaining close relationships with others. A person always make time for the things they consider to be important to them, and if you're not making time for someone who cares for you, then you maybe should reconsider your priorities in life. Keep in mind that you only have one life to live, so taking care of your health and making time for your family and friends should always fit somewhere in your life.

Well that's it for this week's edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'. As with all of my posts, everything that I mentioned applies to myself. Anything written here is only intended to be viewed as informative advice that you can either use or not. Whether you found it informative or useful, I thank you for taking out the time to check me out. Alright then, I'm signing off for this week. Peace out folks, and remember that life is not about having time, but making time.

Life Is About Your Perspective And What You Make Of It.

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I have problems, you have problems, we all have problems right? I feel one of the biggest mistakes that a person can make is comparing their problems to those of the next person. My problems are no greater than yours, nor are yours any greater than mine. Some people control their circumstances, while others allow their circumstances to dictate all aspects of their lives. Most of us have heard the saying; "life is what you make it" right? Well, due to several factors currently happening with people that I know, I've been thinking quite a bit about the "life is what you make it" statement. As always, when something weighs fairly heavily on my mind, I have to come on here and write about it ya digg! What up peeps? This is Brad H. back at you once again, and thanks for joining me on this installment of 'Brad H's. Perspective'.

Alright, so we're back at it once again. Hopefully by now you've noticed that I've titled this blog post 'Life Is About Your Perspective And What You Make Of It'. Before going any further, I realize that most of us pay little to no attention to these so-called "comfort cliches". Call me naive or whatever, but I just happen to believe that some of these small cliches that so many of us tend to take for granted can have an effect on our lives in a positive way. Again, that's just my personal opinion. Now, lets get into the meat of what I'll be discussing this time around. As I mentioned, there have been several reasons as of late why this particular topic has been on my mind. However, the primary reason as to why this topic has weighed on me is because I'm noticing how so many people are allowing the various circumstances they're facing to affect their moods, attitudes, and even their relationships with others.

Now from my personal perspective, I believe that it's time for a bit of self-reflection whenever our circumstances are affecting us in the ways I mentioned in the previous paragraph. No one is perfect, and we all deal with and face trials that bring out both the best and worst within ourselves. If you're a person that isn't totally happy in life or with the circumstances you're currently facing, that alone can be enough to mentally break you down; if you allow it to that is. In my opinion, there's not anything wrong with feeling sad or down because you're facing hardships or tough times. However, I believe that there is only a certain level of happiness that a single person can reach, and we must learn to train our minds to be able to handle those less than ideal circumstances that will eventually come our way.

Some people don't need to train themselves, as they're naturally able to face whatever comes at them with conviction. However, for those of us that struggle with our circumstances at times, it is indeed true that life is all about our perspective and how we view things. There's this skit on one of my favorite hip-hop groups (Panacea) album titled 'Thinking Back Looking Forward'. The name of the skit is titled 'Whole World To See'. During the skit, there is a woman talking to a man about how she has never left the village she lives in, and how she must be missing so much out there in the world. What I gathered was that she was in a rough place being stuck in the village. The man replied back to her and says; "Not really. The sky is the sky wherever you go, people are people, always waking you up from a good nap." You're probably wondering how this skit relates to this topic that I'm writing about. Well, what I took from the skit is that the man was trying to tell the woman that she really isn't missing anything beyond where she lives, and that her personal view on life is what determines her happiness. There's a bit of a comedic and lightheartedness element to the skit, but I think there was an undertone in it.

The main and obvious point that I want to make from all of this is that life is really what you make it, and that you don't have to allow whatever circumstances you're dealing with to control or define you. You can always view your life as being bad, but always remember that no matter how bad you believe things are, there's always a possibility that your circumstances can get worse. Furthermore, there's always someone out there that's maybe doing worse than you are, and would trade places with you in a second. It's all about your perspective. Everyone has problems, but it's all about how we view them, and how we choose to handle them.

Well that's it for this edition of 'Brad H's. Perspective'. As with all of my posts, everything that I've written about applies to myself. It's only to be viewed as informative advice that you can use however you see fit. Whether you found it useful or not, I still appreciate you stopping by to check me out. Alright I'm signing out, so I'll see you in the next posting. Peace!

What Other People Think About You and Your Life Is Their Business, Not Yours!

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Many of the thoughts and inspirations that I draw upon come from some of the motivational speakers that I enjoy listening to. One of my favorite motivational speakers to listen to is a man named Les Brown. Some of you may be familiar with him already. I haven't been up on Mr. Brown's work all that long, only for maybe a year or so. However, during the short span of time that I've become familiar with him, I've made an attempt to listen to as many of his speeches as I can. One of my favorite Les Brown speeches is his speech titled 'It's Possible'. Although I found the entire speech to be both informative and inspiring, there was something that Mr. Brown spoke during that speech that I thought would be a good title for this post. What's good folks? It's ya boy Brad H. back at you again with another edition of 'Brad H's. Perspective'.

I'm not going to go into many of the details of Les Brown's speech because to be honest, an entire book could probably be written about the particular speech that I'm referring to. However, what I plan on doing is using the quote from Les Brown that I'm going to use as the basis in this blog post, and relating it to how so many of us live our lives. Most of us may try to deny it, but the honest truth is that too many of us care about what other people think of us and our lives. We often hear people saying that they don't care what others think of them, but many of the people that constantly say this are the main ones making the hardest efforts to impress other people. Don't believe me? How many people do you know that go out of their way to purchase things that they probably don't really need, but their primary motivation for buying these things is that they're hoping to impress someone. Oh yea, we can't forget about the people that go way out of their way in attempts to make other people jealous.

It's amazing how we as people sometime do things for all the wrong reasons. Think about it for a second; a person buying something to show off and floss to a group of people that doesn't even like them. Is there even much logic in that? Whatever happened to just being yourself, and doing things because doing it made you happy? Why are people so hellbent on fitting in and trying to impress others? I believe that we as people in general want to feel like we're accepted by others. As I mentioned in a previous post, being the individual that you really are can sometimes be a lonely road to travel down, and not everyone that you encounter is going to like you, nor are they always going to understand you. In fact, regardless as to how good or bad of a person that you believe that you are, people are always going to have an opinion about you and your lifestyle, and in many cases, their opinions aren't going to be good ones. Guess what though; what other people think of you and your life is their business, not yours.

You may wonder to yourself; why do I say it's their business and not yours? Well like they say, your life is called your life because it's yours to live. No one can live for you, nor are they responsible for your happiness. The way that you decide to live your life, and what you want to do with your life is all on you. Therefore, how or what others perceive of you and your your life isn't any concern of yours, that's all on them. Our only concern should be doing the things that make ourselves happy. We have to continue to remind ourselves that true happiness is living life on your own terms, rather than constantly caring about what others think of you.

Now of course, there are some instances where someone else's opinion of you may hold some weight. When I think of caring about what others think, I mainly think of family members and close friends. In most cases, these are the people that we truly know care about us, so we tend to value their opinions. There's a big difference between worrying about what people whom have never done anything to help, uplift, or support you in any way think about you, compared to those who have proven themselves. One of the biggest issues we face is that many of us put too much stock into caring about those who shouldn't matter, and not enough on the ones that do. I think that pretty much about wraps it up for this 'Brad H's. Perspective' post.

The key point that I want to drive home is that we shouldn't be overly concerned about what people think in regards to our lives. My thinking on this especially applies to the people that only have negative opinions and thoughts of you, but have never provided any ideas or support to help take your life to the next level. In fact, it's probably better to remove those kind of people out of your life completely. As with my other posts, I want to say that everything that I've written about only applies to myself. Just view it as advice that you can use however you see fit. Whether you decide to use it or not, I appreciate those of you that take out the time to stop by. I'll see you in the next post. Peace!

Focus On Daily Goals, Rather Than Long Term Goals. (Marathon vs. Sprint Mentality).

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November 15, 2013; the last time before now that I posted on this blog. Wow, it's now been exactly a two month hiatus that I've been on. As some of you may already know from previous entries, I'm not one to make excuses for my sporadic extended absences from time to time. However, there were several circumstances that led to me developing a lack of motivation to write anything for a few weeks. I don't want to get into too much detail, but I ended up losing a very close relative of mine a few days before Thanksgiving. We all know that it's never easy to deal with the loss of a loved one. It's one of those things that we all experience at sometime or another and no matter how many times we have to go through it, it's a feeling that we can never fully get used to. R.I.P. to my Aunt Gloria. You will forever be missed.

Although we're a little over 2 weeks into 2014, I want to begin by wishing everyone a Happy New Year! Because I literally haven't posted since 2013, I think it is fitting to start off the 2014 run of 'Brad H's. Perspective' by wishing everyone a happy and prosperous new year. Since we're still fresh into this brand new year, I think that the topic that I have planned comes at a good time. I think that this topic will apply to those of us that may have some goals set for this new year. I also hope that it resonates with those who make those New Years resolutions that often disappear after a month or two.

Anyone that knows me pretty well are aware that I'm not one to make New Years resolutions anymore. I'll admit that I've made them in past years like most other people when a new year rolled around. However, I made the decision to throw in the towel on them maybe 3 or 4 years ago. I just personally started to find them to be nothing but excuses for some of the things that I should be already doing year round on a consistent basis. Also, I found that the New Years resolution pep talks sounded good at the beginning of the year but as the months began to pass by, they began to become more and more irrelevant.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for people being optimistic in regards to living to see a new year. For some reason or another, a brand new year can mentally gives us hope and a fresh outlook that we can change whatever wrongs that exist in our lives for the better. However, I personally believe it's more beneficial to concentrate on setting daily goals, rather than long term goals that may be more difficult to achieve. You're probably wondering to yourself; What is the difference? Well from my viewpoint, those daily goals that you set and accomplish are the ones that can help those long term goals to be reached the proper way.

Prime example; lets say that a person is aiming to lose weight for the new year, which is a goal that A LOT of people set for the new year. Now do you believe it would be more beneficial to lose weight the healthy way by dieting and exercising daily, or by partaking in poor dieting habits where you're probably not exercising, and starving yourself to get those pounds off? Both of these methods can lead to reaching the goal of losing weight, but focusing on losing weight daily will allow the weight to come off in a manner that is not detrimental to your long term health. One other thing to keep in mind when it comes to daily goal setting is that it helps in teaching us to become disciplined in life. Positive daily habits and consistency are the key, regardless of whatever our long terms plans may be.

Always try to keep in mind that life is a marathon rather than a sprint. Work towards those long term goals by focusing daily on whatever it is that you're trying to achieve. View your daily goals as pieces of a larger puzzle that you're planning on piecing together. We don't have to always rush and accomplish things overnight. Sometimes it's good to just take your time and pace yourself. Slow and steady wins the race.

Well that's all I have for this edition of 'Brad H's. Perspective'. I want to stress that what was discussed in this post applies to me, and that I'm not telling anyone how to approach their goals. Just view it as friendly advice through my own thought process. I hope that it touches someone. I have more ideas and topics planned for this year, and I hope that you'll join me on this journey. Again I want to wish all a healthy and prosperous 2014, and I hope that you all achieve whatever goals you have for 2014. I'll see you in the next post. Peace!

Being The Person You Truly Are Can Sometimes Be A Lonely Road (You Have to Be Willing to Walk That Road).

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Every individual is different and unique in our own right. There will never ever be a time where there are two people that are exactly alike and even if we come across people that are similar to us, there always will be something regardless of how minuscule it is that makes us different from the next person. It almost feels ironic even saying that, because it seems that the majority of people in today are constantly attempting to fit in with what everyone else is doing. It's almost like longing for attention from others is like a drug habit that an addict would have a hard time kicking. Due to the things that society deem as being normal, are most everyday people now really afraid to be themselves? Are people willing to stand firm in their beliefs, even when it means being criticized by others? This is ya boy Brad H. once again, and I'll be giving my thoughts on this topic. Welcome to another 'Brad H's. Perspective' blog posting. Thanks for giving me a few minutes of your time.

So, I'm discussing how it feels like many of us aren't willing to really be who we really are out of fear of being accepted by others, and how being who you really are can sometimes be a lonely road to travel. This is something that has been weighing on my mind quite a bit as of late, so I thought I'd spend a few moments giving my thoughts on it. Before I go any further, I want to say that what I'm discussing in this topic obviously doesn't apply to everyone. I'm very well aware that there are many people out there that are living their lives on their own terms, rather than just trying to fit in with or impress other people. Now for the most part, the majority pretty much rules in all aspects of life. Think about it for a second; the majority of us do what we can to keep up with what the majority of everyone else is doing. Instead of us taking our own stance on certain issues we care about in life, we're too busy trying to go along with the "program". Going along with the program is much easier than going against the grain right?

It's an unfortunate thing, but I think that too many of us thrive off of attention from others, which is one of the main reasons why so many of us are always trying to fit in with what everyone else is doing. Don't believe me? Look at a lot of these social networking sites for example. Many of us see the same people constantly talking themselves up and things of that nature. Much of this is nothing but blatantly obvious attempts by people to make themselves look good to others. I'm not saying that a person shouldn't be proud of anything they accomplish. However, how much attention does a person need to feel like they're part of the crowd? How far should a person go to feel accepted? What's wrong with having self-validation, instead of always looking to other people for validation? These are all questions that I've been thinking about.

I think there are two ways to look at a subject like this. If you're one of those people that is okay and comfortable with being part of what's going on with the crowd, then go right ahead and keep living that way. I personally don't see anything wrong with that if you're happy and content with being like that. On the flip side, I don't think that any individual should fake who they really are just to gain attention, or be accepted by others. One thing that a lot of people know but fail to acknowledge is that not everyone that you believe is a friend of yours really cares about you as a person. A lot of the people that you're the closet to be the same ones secretly wanting you to fail. Being a unique person that doesn't follow the crowd can be a lonely, but necessary road to travel. Is it a path that you're willing to walk?

I've stated this before, but constantly longing to be around and/or wanting to be accepted by others isn't going to make a person truly happy. Happiness has to start within you first and a person that can't be themselves, or is constantly looking to fit in with the crowd most likely isn't going to be happy if they're not being the person they truly are inside. So to sum it all up, don't be afraid to walk that potential lonely path if you're different, or some of your beliefs aren't mainstream. The people that really care about you and appreciate you will accept you for who you are. Try not to worry too much about the people that attempt to down you, or make you feel bad for being who you are. As long as you're not hurting anyone or breaking the law, be who you truly are, and don't be afraid to walk down that lonely road.

Well that's it for this week's topic on 'Brad H's. Perspective'. Thanks again to those of you that stopped through. I'll see you in the next post. Till then, everyone take care, stay up, and keep on maintaining. Peace!