Friday, September 30, 2016

The Importance Of Not Being Too Hard On Yourself For Making Mistakes.

We're all aware that mistakes are a part of life. This is something that most of us have heard consistency since our days of being a youth. I've mentioned this several times in the past on here, but to be a human-being is to make mistakes. While there are those that have no problem to admitting that we're all flawed as humans, there are also those that have a hard time confessing to being an individual that make mistakes. I'm not entirely sure why it is so difficult for many to us to admit to our mistakes. Maybe it has to do with so many people having big egos in this time and era. I'll leave whatever the reasons for this up to someone else to decided. At any rate, whenever we make mistakes regardless of how minuscule they may be at that particular time, we normally develop the tendency to brush them off and move forward. I personally think this is the right way to go in regards to making mistakes, however, there are also many of us that struggle with being overly hard on ourselves for our mistakes. There are instances where we tend to mentally beat ourselves up when it comes to our mistakes, and this can often lead to a cycle of struggling to break free from making the same mistakes time and time again. Similar to anything else in life that involves the breaking of a habit, mistakes are right along with that catalog of things in my opinion. It is okay for us to make mistakes, but it's not okay to constantly be hard for ourselves for them.

As in the words of the late Notorious B.I.G., "And another one!", welcome ladies and gentlemen to another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! For those that maybe don't know the formula here, I'm here to give my perspective on various topics and thoughts that I think about in my daily life. I take those thoughts and try to put them into words that will hopefully inspire myself and others to keep on expanding our minds. If this is your first time visiting here, I'd like to say welcome to you. If you're a frequent viewer already, I'd like to say thank you for stopping by once again. I hope everything has been going well in everyone's lives since the last topic. Man, there has been a lot of unfortunate tragedies as of late. First off, and I feel bad for not mentioning this in my last post, my grandmother's oldest brother passed away earlier this month. He had somewhat been out of touch with a good portion of the family for the last few years, but we're all saddened by his passing. He was around 96 years old I believe. I'd like to say rest in peace to you Uncle Wilmer. The yearly trips you made home before you got down were always one of the biggest highlights of the year for me. We also had the tragic death of Miami Marlins pitcher Jose Fernandez a few days ago. For some reason or another, Jose's death really affected me. I think a lot of it has to do with my uncle passing, but also due to the fact that he was such a young guy with a big future ahead of him. I'm not a Marlins fan, but I always enjoyed watching Jose pitch. It was easily recognizable that he had a zest for the game of baseball. Two other tragic deaths that I want to mention before moving on is golfing legend Arnold Palmer, and actor Bill Nunn, whom both passed last weekend. I hope my mentioning of these individuals deaths aren't a downer for you all. I just wanted to be sure and acknowledge them, as well as anyone else who has lost loved ones recently. Alright, lets go ahead and get into this week's topic on the importance of not being too hard on ourselves.

As I always touch on in each of my writings, a person's individual viewpoint on any topic will vary. My objective here isn't to focus on what is considered to be wrong or wrong; that's totally subjective and up to the individual. The goal is to hopefully give the people that read these posts something to think about and consider going further. As always, you don't have to agree with anything that I touch on, and I also encourage anyone that feels differently to leave their thoughts below. All thoughts and opinions aside of my own are always welcome here. So before getting into the topic itself, I want to give some brief insight on why I'm writing on this topic. Personally, I am one of those individuals that I mentioned earlier that often beats themselves up mentally for their mistakes sometimes. Now I don't consider to be someone with an ego that won't admit to his flaws, but I will admit that I can be hard for myself at times. It's a habit that I've gotten better at breaking in the last year or so, and I have some great people that I've come across to thank for that. This week's message is primarily for those that struggle with being too hard for themselves for their mistakes, but it's also a reminder to anyone else that beating yourself up for your failures will not accomplish anything. It's all about what you're able to learn and take away from your mistakes.

As I stated earlier in this post, it's normal for we as humans to develop somewhat of a self-defeating mindset after making mistakes. Now this state of mind normally depends on the severity of the mistake(s) we make. Of course the smaller and more less severe mistakes probably won't affect us as much as a mistake that have more serious consequences. I won't go into what is considered to be smaller mistakes compared to the ones that have a bigger impact on our lives. However, I think we all can agree that a general rule of thumb is that a mistake is a mistake regardless of how big or small it is, and the magnitude or lack thereof can definitely play on our psyche. Now you may wonder how do mistakes affect our state of mind? Take this as an example. Most people associate the making of mistakes as personal failures. Now I personally don't see this as the case, but we cannot overlook the fact that many people think this way. Since failure is associated with not being successful at something in particular, many of us tend to develop a negative state of mind whenever we make mistakes. Again, I personally see failures and mistakes as two different things, but you can see how the two can be viewed as being similar by most. From my perspective, this is exactly why so many people fall into a chronic negative state of mind. It all deals with seeing certain things for something they're really not.

So why exactly is it important to not beat ourselves up for our mistakes? From my perspective, being overly hard on ourselves can aid in putting us into that chronic cycle of having a negative state of mind. See, the thing with us being human is that our emotions and state of mind often depend on the things that happen to us. So naturally, we feel good whenever good things happen, and we feel the opposite whenever things don't go our way. Now the thing with making mistakes is that it's something we cannot avoid. We may be able to avoid making the same mistakes over and over again, but whenever we're tackling something that we're not accustomed to is going to come with some mistakes. Since mistakes cannot always be avoided, there is really no benefit to being hard on ourselves. Now I don't have to tell you the importance of not being negative all the time. This is something that I've discussed many times on here in the past. Now with that said, I want to stress that having a negative state of mind makes us even more prone to mistakes. Being negative all the time doesn't only sap away our energy, it also takes away our confidence and the ability to believe in ourselves. Whenever we're unsure of certain things that we may face, a level of doubt and insecurity in our ability to get through them naturally develops. I believe much of this stems from being constantly negative, thus why I feel it's important to not be too hard on ourselves whenever we make mistakes.

So how do we combat against beating ourselves up for the mistakes we make? Well I believe that there's really no solid answer to that question, mainly because we're naturally going to feel some regret or disappointment from our mistakes. However, there is something that I think can aid in this constant battle, and I stated it earlier in this post. We have to learn to view our mistakes as lessons rather than failures. Instead of being so hard on ourselves whenever we mess up on something, we have to be able to take something positive away from it that we can apply in the future. It's okay to feel a bit of disappointment whenever you make a mistake, but the key is to not dwell on it for too long. We've all heard it before, but the world in general already beats us up for our shortcomings, so there's no sense in adding to it by doing it to ourselves. Again, I know all this sounds more easier said than done, and I myself struggle with this from time to time as I stated earlier. But, as I've also stated before, being aware and conscious of something is half the battle of conquering it. So don't be too hard on yourself whenever you make a mistake at something. It's very important to not develop the habit of thinking negatively every time something doesn't go your way. I'll end with a quote by Robin S. Sharma that relates to this topic: “There are no mistakes in life, only lessons. There is no such thing as a negative experience, only opportunities to grow, learn and advance along the road of self mastery.From struggle comes strength. Even pain can be a wonderful teacher”

Well we've come to the end for this time around folks, so I'm going to go ahead and sign off now. I'd like to say thank you once again to anybody that stopped through for another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'. As I always like to mention, I hope that there was some understanding gained from this post, and I hope that anyone that read it can relate a bit. If you have anything you'd like to contribute on this topic or if you found it inspiration to you, please feel free to drop a comment below. Well we've arrived at the weekend, as well as a new month, so I hope everyone has a safe and happy one. I'll see you all in October. Until next time, I wish you all peace and positive thoughts. See you in the next one!

©2016 Bradrick H. All Rights Reserved.

Friday, September 16, 2016

Never Allow Others To Make You Feel Bad For Bettering Yourself.

I'm pretty certain that most of you have heard of the saying that goes "people are like a bunch of crabs in a barrel". By chance if you have not heard of it before now, this statement deals with the obvious handling of a bunch of crabs stuck in a barrel together. However, there is a sublime mindset about this statement that many people use as a way to describe people that hate to see others rise above them in the real world. It deals with the fact that there are some people that hate to see others get ahead of them in life, similar to when one of the crabs begins to climb out of the barrel, the others will reach up and drag him back down. Now regardless of whether you believe in the crabs in a barrel mentality or not, the brutal honest truth is that there are people in this world that hate to see other people bettering themselves. It is truly unfortunate when you think about it, but there's no denying how much of a fact this is. This is something we both see and hear about daily. Anytime you find someone that is doing things to better themselves, there will likely be people that are also waiting for that person to fail. Despite how bad this way of thinking may be, it can somewhat be expected from outsiders that may not know you as well. You know the kind of people that don't like you, but also don't really know you. However, in some cases, this thinking applies to people that we're the closest to as well. Regardless of who it is that may be projecting their own insecurities towards us, we must never allow others to make us feel bad for trying to better ourselves.

What's up ladies and gents? It's your guy Brad H. coming straight at you once again with another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! I'm sure most of you know how it works around here, but for those of you that are maybe visiting for the first time, I'm here to give my perspective on the various topics and thoughts that I think about in my daily life. I try to put those thought into words that I hope will not only benefit myself, but hopefully others as well. I hope that everyone has been doing well since the last post. I've been speaking about it for several posts leading up to now, but FOOTBALL IS FINALLY HERE. I'm not sure about anyone else out there, but football is what the bulk of my conversations with others for the past week or so has been about. Week one is officially in the books, and although my team lost on an awful play to end what should have been a winnable game, I'm just happy and excited that we have football back for the next few months. I may have mentioned this in the past, but this is the beginning of the time of the year that I enjoy most. Not only because of sports in general, but the fact that the weather will be starting to get cooler soon, as well as the holidays starting to approach us. I was just telling someone yesterday that it feels like people are more happier during the winter months, and I believe a big portion of that deals with Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. I know I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, but I'm just excited. Anyway, now that I've rambled for a bit, lets go ahead and talk about what this post is mainly about, which is the importance of not allowing other people to make you feel bad for wanting to better yourself.

As I always touch on in my writings, a person's individual viewpoint on a topic will always vary. The object here isn't to focus on what is considered to be wrong or wrong; that's totally subjective and up to the individual. My goal is to hopefully give the people that read something to think about and consider further. You don't have to agree with me, and if you happen not to, that's totally fine. Your presence here is welcome regardless of whether you agree or disagree with the things I write. Like always, I'd like to take a little time and give some insight on how I came about writing on this topic. As with a good portion of the past things I've written about, this week's topic is one that I think about regularly. However, the primary reason why I decided to expand on this topic deals with my hearing of others talking about it via social media. I watch a lot of videos on Youtube, and I came across several people that mentioned something that deals with this topic in their videos. Their videos may not have dealt with this topic exactly, however, there were references in some form of the plight of dealing with negative flack from others while attempting to better yourself. Because this is a topic that I already think about and experience, as most of you probably do as well, something within me told me to address this in my own way. The crabs in a barrel mentality will never truly end in our society, but I feel that it's important for people that are trying to better themselves to persevere regardless of what others may say or think.

I'm a firm believer that for every action that a person takes, there is also a reaction. Whether it's for better or for worse, I believe that this state of mind applies to everything in life. Now going more into the context of this topic that we're dealing with, every positive action that we may take towards bettering ourselves will not always be met with a positive reaction from others. As I stated earlier, some people will not be happy for you because of their own insecurities and in some cases, people will negatively project those insecurities onto you. Most of the time, this action is conveyed solely as a way to deter you from whatever you feel is best for your own life. Now some people are able to press on despite all this, and ignoring their detractors comes relatively easy. However, for others that are facing this kind of backlash from others, blocking out the negativity from the doubters and haters can be a daunting challenge. In some cases, this can eventually lead to some people feeling bad or guilty for what they're doing to better themselves, which can stir up emotions that question whether or not we're doing the right thing. I know it sounds crazy for many, but it is a fact that there are people in this world that deal with this on a consistent basis. What's even more unfortunate is that this type of emotional abuse often comes from the ones that know us the best.

Now that we've established why there are people who will make you feel bad for doing things that will better yourself, I want to talk briefly about the primary way that others are able to do this. Going back to what I stated earlier, I believe that much of it deals with emotions. We all know that our emotions play a huge role in the things we do from a moment to moment basis. In some ways, our emotions often guide our actions and decisions. Much of this depends on what our emotional state is at that particular moment, which solidifies that our emotions have a big impact on whether we make good or bad choices. One thing that I think many of us tend to forget is that some people will often us their own emotions as a way to control us. Take this for example. How many times have you said no or didn't adhere to someone that you care for wishes, and then you found yourself changing your mind because they maybe begged or displayed emotions of disappointment towards you? We've all done this at some time or another to get what we want, and we all have fallen prey to others doing this to us. This is an example of how people use their emotions as a way to control others, and this is often the method that people will use as a way to make you feel bad for wanting to better yourself. Now I'm not saying that everyone is like this, however, this is something that we need to look out for when people are doubting something you may be doing to better yourself.

So how do you combat against people that go out of their way to make you feel bad for doing things that you think will better you? From my perspective on this topic, I just think that you have to listen to and trust your own instincts. We can't allow other people to deter us from whatever paths that we may be on towards the journey for self-improvement. Additionally, try not to fall victim to the emotionally insecurities that others will project upon you. Like I stated earlier, we live in a crabs in a barrel society, and you'll find that even the people that you're close to will sometimes subtly not be happy for you when you're changing for the better. Again, much of this is their own insecurities, so don't allow those to keep you from moving forward. Anything that you feel will better you as a person can never be truly bad. Why? Because it's your life, and only you can know what will make you happy in this life. I'll just end by quoting a lyric from a song called Sober Soldier on's album 'The Workout'. "When you make a positive change people will judge you, some will take it personal, but don't let it budge you." Keep on pressing forward my friends, and never allow people to make you feel bad for wanting to better yourself.

Well that's all I have for this time folks, so I'm going to go ahead and end this one. Thanks once again for those of you that stopped through for another installment of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'. Like always, I hope that some meaning and understanding was gained from this. Furthermore, I hope that someone found it inspirational and meaningful to their life. I'm all about keeping it as positive as possible here, and I try to use this blog as hub where others can find inspiration. We've arrived at the weekend, so I hope everyone enjoys and has a safe one. Alright I'm gone people, so have a good one. Until next time, I wish you all peace and positive thoughts. See you in the next one!

©2016 Bradrick H. All Rights Reserved.

Friday, September 2, 2016

We're All At Different Stages In This Life (Comparing Your Situation To Others).

I think it's a fairly normal habit for us as humans to draw much of our self worth and value from our peers. We often draw comparisons to where we may be at in various stages of life to those that we grew up around, as well as maybe the people we attended school with. It feels like the mindset for the majority of people is that you're only doing as good as your peers, and if we're not at or above that standard at the moment, then you're obviously a failure. Although it's a totally subjective thing from my personal stance, for most people, there is somewhat of an invisible bar that is used for the standard that people use to determine their self worth. Now although I feel this way about the subject, I will attest that drawing comparisons from our peers can be beneficial from a motivational standpoint. We all need inspiration to aspire for greater things occasionally, and using those that are maybe doing better than us in certain aspects of life can become a positive motivational force for us to do better. Now with all of that said, I also think that too many of us depreciate our own value at times. We put so much pressure on ourselves to live up to others, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy if we're not at the same level that our peers may be. Life has various stages that we all go through, and no one journey for one person will be exactly like someone else's. We're all at different stages in this life, so we shouldn't compare our situations to else's.

Hey, what's up ladies and gentlemen? It is me Brad H. coming right back at you like an arrow shot out of a bow with another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! I want to start off by saying thanks and welcome to you all. Some of you may already know the drill, but for those of you that maybe do not, I'm here to give my perspective on the various topics that I think about in my daily life. I try to take those thoughts and put them into words that I hope to not only benefit myself, but hopefully anyone else that needs a little bit of motivation as well. I hope everything has been going pretty good for you all out there as of late. I know many of you are excited about the NFL season starting less than a week from now. Trust me when I say that I'm definitely right there with anyone that feels that way, although an injury that occurred to a key player on my favorite team has somewhat tempered my already low expectations for this upcoming season. Some of you may already know that I'm a Dallas Cowboys fan, which means that the injured player that I'm obviously talking about is the quarterback, Tony Romo. I was actually watching the preseason game that he went down in, and I was thinking to myself that a lot of Cowboys fans probably stopped breathing for a sec. He was able to get back up and walk away on his, but of course we know now that he has a broken bone in his back. The ironic thing about all this is that despite me being a Cowboys fan, I already had a feeling that Romo would get injured at some point this season; I just didn't expect it during the preseason. At any rate, the rookie Dak Prescott has looked fairly good in the preseason, so we'll see what happens going forward. Of course we know the regular is different, so temper your expectations Cowboy fans. Alright, I'm rambled enough, so lets get into this week's topic of being at different stages in life.

Like I always point out in my writing, a person's individual viewpoint on a topic will always vary. My focus here isn't to put a lot of credence into what is considered to be right or wrong, but rather to give those that read something to think about further. As I stated previously, the main goal with this entry and this blog in general is to hopefully inspire others, as well as myself through the process. Of course if there is anyone that disagrees with the things I discuss or the method in which I use to discuss them, that is totally fine. Your visit is still very much appreciated regardless if our views differ. So how did we arrive at this particular topic for this week? Well, like most of the other topics I've written about, it is something that I already think about pretty frequently. Furthermore, it's a topic that I've had several in depth discussions with people that I'm close with about, but I've yet to come on here and give my thoughts on it. Finally, due to how relevant it is to so many of us out here in this world, I think it's a topic that I need to address more deeply in a post. For far too long, we as a people have based our worth on things that really shouldn't define who we are as people. I realize that this will continue to go on, but I feel that I have to do my part in showing others why they shouldn't be comparing where they are in this life to anyone else.

Now as I stated earlier in this post, we all are in different stages throughout this life. Although many people are aware of this fact, many of us still feel the pressures to keep up with the "Jones's" as people would say. There are several examples of life where this state of mind has relevance. Some examples may include things like getting married, having children, and finding the right career. Now I'm not saying that none of those things aren't important; they most definitely are. I believe, however, that the problem stems from the fact that many of us lose sight of the fact that no two individuals circumstances will be exactly the same, which means that some people will achieve certain aspects of life quicker than others. The society that we live in has painted this image where life is similar to a race, and everyone is expected to reach the finish line at exactly the same time. Of course life doesn't work that way, nor should it be viewed in this manner. From my perspective on this topic, the biggest comparison to life and goals is like people running a marathon. You have one person that gets to the finish line first, and then other competitors finish the race behind them. Some people finish the race a little slower, and some may not finish at all. That is what makes life interesting, and also makes us all unique as individuals.

So getting back to the mental aspect of this topic, there are too many of us attach our self worth to how we view others. Much of the mental part of this deals with we as people allowing others to make us feel this way. Like I stated earlier, in a generalized society, if a person hasn't gotten married or obtained a certain level of success by a specified time period, many people will paint your life as a failure. From my perspective, there are two key elements that we must keep in mind. First, try not to live your life based on a time schedule set by society. I believe a lot of people make some of the biggest mistakes by trying to live up to society's expectations. Instead of participating in this habit, try to remove those barriers from your mind, and live at your own pace. Secondly, do no compare your situation to your friends, your classmates, or your family. Whatever path you're on in life is yours and yours alone. It's not for anyone else to understand, which means that much of what we do will already be under scrutiny from other people. People may not always like your lifestyle or your choices, but most people will always respect a person that stands firms in their convictions.

Now touching once again on the self worth aspect of this topic, and this is the portion of the post that is the most important from my perspective. No matter who you are, where you are in life or what you've done, you are a person of value. No matter what anyone else may say about this, I believe that every person in this world has some kind of value. Some may wonder where is the proof in this? The proof is that we're here and breathing, so even if you don't feel you have much to contribute to this world, you still have the opportunity to do so because you're alive. I realize and understand that we live in a superficial society that places value on people by how much they've accomplished. While we should always strive to do better for ourselves, not obtaining the same level of success as our peers doesn't make you any less valuable. You may not have all the fancy or material items in this world, but your value to this world is priceless if you're the kind of person that gives yourself to others for a cause bigger than you are. So with all of that said, just remember that we're all at different stages in this life, so try not to compare your life to other people. Just keep focusing on being the better individual you can be, and I believe that the universe will reward you in kind.

Well we've made it through another week folks, so it's time for us to part ways for now. Now don't go crying on me now. I'm just kidding of course. Anyway, thank you all to everyone that came through for another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective' once again! I hope that this post was of inspiration to someone out there, and even in the event that it wasn't, your visit here is always welcomed and appreciated. Feel free to drop any comments or feedback like always. I hope you all have a great weekend ahead. Football is right upon us, so enjoy. I'm out people, so until next time, I wish you all peace and positive thoughts. See you all in the next one!

©2016 Bradrick H. All Rights Reserved.