Friday, March 31, 2017

It's Nobody's Responsibility To Solve Your Problems (The Answers Are Often Within).

Everyone has moments in our lives where we find ourselves searching for answers. Life can sometimes turn our worlds upside down to the point where we finding ourselves bumbling and stumbling for answers. When these moments normally happen in our lives, the average person often seeks out the help of others. We look towards these people to give us the guidance we need to navigate the issues we're facing. While I feel it is necessary to ask for help from others from time to time, there are too many of us that look for others to solve our problems completely. It's like instead of seeking help and working together with someone to get our issues straightened out, we want others to just give us all the answers without having to do much. This is a mentality that can trickle down from one area of our lives to another, which can lead to a downward spiral of always counting on others to solve our problems. From the spiral that occurs within this mentality, a potential decline in our relationships with others can happen when the people that we count on are not always able to be there. Again, there is nothing wrong with asking for or seeking help in times of need, but it also behooves us to understand that it's not the responsibility of others to solve our problems. Furthermore, many of us would probably be surprised at how many of the answers we're seeking are already within us.

What's good my people out there? It is your guy Brad H. back once again, and I'd like to welcome everyone to another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective' once again. Respect and thanks goes out to those of you that came through to see what I'm discussing for the week. As always, I hope everyone has been doing well and maintaining. Don't really have a lot to touch on this week in regards to things that are happening in life. However, I do want to mention something about the year 2017 that I've been dealing with thus far. You know how we all have certain vibes and feelings about certain things that we can't quite explain? Well heading into this year, I had a feeling that it would be a year of both change and hardship. Not going to get into details, but I will say that 2017 has been a challenging year for me personally thus far. There has been a lot of things going on with people that I'm close to that has been affecting me as well. I'm pointing this out to let everyone know that although I come on here to talk about positive issues and topics most of the time, I have struggles that I have to deal with in my life like we all do. Staying positive can sometimes be a challenge, but the most important thing to remember is the importance of not giving up. Regardless of what is happening in our lives whether it is for good or bad, we have to continue to keep on showing up and fighting those internal battles. I just wanted to touch on that real quick, and I'll probably do a post in the future about the importance of not giving up. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, lets talk a bit more about the topic at hand on how the answers we're seeking are often within.

As with the normal standard that I've set on here, I want to point out that a person's individual viewpoints will always differ from person to person. The main point here isn't to focus on what is considered to be right or wrong, but rather to hopefully stimulate the minds of others to view certain topics in a way that they may have never considered. I'm in no way saying that my viewpoint is right, nor am I implying that the way I see things is the correct way of looking at things. I'm just hoping to first help and inspire myself, and through that process, hopefully inspire others as well. If you agree with me, cool, if not, that's fine and well and I appreciate your visit. If anyone has any feedback to contribute on this or any other topic that I've talked about, please feel free to do so in the comment box. As for insight on how I arrived at talking about this topic, I would contribute it to a combination of my thoughts, along with seeing this habit happen from others. Now because I said that, I don't want people to think or assume that I'm criticizing others that maybe engage in this habit. Heck, I myself has struggled with this before, and it took me some time to understand that my problems are not other peoples problems. Again, the goal here is to inspire and encourage. We're not here to condemn others at all. As I've stated before, and I will continue to maintain, my eyes and ears are closest to me so anything that I talk about here applies to myself as well.

Now as I stated earlier in this post, there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking others for help occasionally. We all need help from time to time, and if you happen to believe that not to be fact, you are probably kidding yourself. I realize that a lot of people like to feel like they know everything, but lets be real here, none of us have everything figured out. From my perspective, the asking of help isn't the issue at hand when it comes to solving our problems. The problem is when we feel that other people are obligated to provide us all the answers for solving our own issues. There are several reasons why this is a problem in my opinion, but there are two that I really want to put emphasis on for the sake of the topic at hand. First off, our problems and issues are ours and ours alone, which means that no one else will see nor experience our problems the same way we do. Ever heard the saying; "Your life is yours and yours alone"? The same mentality applies when it comes to your problems. Because other people aren't you and will never truly see the world you do, there is only so much that they can understand when it comes to you and how you view things. Of course people can relate and offer guidance and support, but the fact is that your issues are yours and yours alone. The second point I want to touch on is the fact that other people can't always stop what they're doing to help us.

I'm a firm believer in the old adage that no one owes anyone any help in this life, so be grateful for any help you receive along the way. This mentality is huge when it comes to handling our problems. There are people in this world that really believe that people should stop what they're doing to help them. Think about how selfish of a mentality that is for second. You really want people to not worry about the things they have to face in their own lives because you're in need? Not only is that selfish behavior, but it is also not realistic. Everyone is facing things in their lives in some form or another, and it's not morally right to expect others to be at your every beck and call. Now what I want to focus on next is the idea that the answers and solutions to our problems are often already within. What do I mean by this you may wonder? As I stated previously, only you know what is truly right for you. Again, your journey throughout life is yours and yours alone. This is exactly why I believe that most of the answers that we are looking for are already within. The thing is that we have to search within ourselves for them, which often requires a bit of something that a lot of us don't like to do anymore; thinking for ourselves. Because we've become so reliant on others for help and guidance, many of us neglect thinking for ourselves. This is something that we have to work on changing.

Again, I want to make clear that I'm not saying that we shouldn't be seeking help from others. I'd like to think that we should view any help that we receive from others as a guide or map that can help lead us down the right path. Think of an athlete that has a trainer or mentor that helps them reach their full potential in whatever sport they're in. The mentor helps give the blueprint for becoming successful, but it's the athlete that has to follow the blueprint. Whether or not the athlete succeeds all boils down to them and how much effort they're willing to put in. From my perspective, that is exactly how we should be viewing our problems. So if any of this applies to anyone out there, just remember that it's not any else responsibility to solve your issues. We have to work on exercising a bit of thought and critical thinking instead of being so reliant on others for their help. Finally, if you do have people in your life that don't mind extending themselves to help you, always be grateful to them, because they definitely don't have to do it. The quote that I'm going to leave that I think applies to this topic comes from Bev Haworth. "I am learning not to feel responsible for the problems, issues, circumstances or behavior of others. I am learning that I can show empathy & understanding and listen with care & attention without feeling the need to fix things or make them right."

Alright ladies and gentlemen, we have arrived at the end of this week's topic. Thank you once again to everyone that came through for another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! As usual, my hope is that some meaning and understanding could be gained from this. Before I get out of here, I want to give a shout out to my younger cousin Derion. He recently went off to Navy boot camp, and I've been missing him like crazy as of late. In the month leading up to his leaving, he and I had hung out a lot and worked out together. It feels a little more lonely going on my runs now without him, but I'm happy that he is doing something to better himself. I know he probably won't see this anything soon, but I love and miss you bro. Well I hope everyone has a great weekend ahead, and till next time, I wish you all peace, happiness, and positive thoughts. See you all in the next one.

©2017 Bradrick H. All Rights Reserved.

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