Friday, September 16, 2016

Never Allow Others To Make You Feel Bad For Bettering Yourself.

I'm pretty certain that most of you have heard of the saying that goes "people are like a bunch of crabs in a barrel". By chance if you have not heard of it before now, this statement deals with the obvious handling of a bunch of crabs stuck in a barrel together. However, there is a sublime mindset about this statement that many people use as a way to describe people that hate to see others rise above them in the real world. It deals with the fact that there are some people that hate to see others get ahead of them in life, similar to when one of the crabs begins to climb out of the barrel, the others will reach up and drag him back down. Now regardless of whether you believe in the crabs in a barrel mentality or not, the brutal honest truth is that there are people in this world that hate to see other people bettering themselves. It is truly unfortunate when you think about it, but there's no denying how much of a fact this is. This is something we both see and hear about daily. Anytime you find someone that is doing things to better themselves, there will likely be people that are also waiting for that person to fail. Despite how bad this way of thinking may be, it can somewhat be expected from outsiders that may not know you as well. You know the kind of people that don't like you, but also don't really know you. However, in some cases, this thinking applies to people that we're the closest to as well. Regardless of who it is that may be projecting their own insecurities towards us, we must never allow others to make us feel bad for trying to better ourselves.

What's up ladies and gents? It's your guy Brad H. coming straight at you once again with another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! I'm sure most of you know how it works around here, but for those of you that are maybe visiting for the first time, I'm here to give my perspective on the various topics and thoughts that I think about in my daily life. I try to put those thought into words that I hope will not only benefit myself, but hopefully others as well. I hope that everyone has been doing well since the last post. I've been speaking about it for several posts leading up to now, but FOOTBALL IS FINALLY HERE. I'm not sure about anyone else out there, but football is what the bulk of my conversations with others for the past week or so has been about. Week one is officially in the books, and although my team lost on an awful play to end what should have been a winnable game, I'm just happy and excited that we have football back for the next few months. I may have mentioned this in the past, but this is the beginning of the time of the year that I enjoy most. Not only because of sports in general, but the fact that the weather will be starting to get cooler soon, as well as the holidays starting to approach us. I was just telling someone yesterday that it feels like people are more happier during the winter months, and I believe a big portion of that deals with Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. I know I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, but I'm just excited. Anyway, now that I've rambled for a bit, lets go ahead and talk about what this post is mainly about, which is the importance of not allowing other people to make you feel bad for wanting to better yourself.

As I always touch on in my writings, a person's individual viewpoint on a topic will always vary. The object here isn't to focus on what is considered to be wrong or wrong; that's totally subjective and up to the individual. My goal is to hopefully give the people that read something to think about and consider further. You don't have to agree with me, and if you happen not to, that's totally fine. Your presence here is welcome regardless of whether you agree or disagree with the things I write. Like always, I'd like to take a little time and give some insight on how I came about writing on this topic. As with a good portion of the past things I've written about, this week's topic is one that I think about regularly. However, the primary reason why I decided to expand on this topic deals with my hearing of others talking about it via social media. I watch a lot of videos on Youtube, and I came across several people that mentioned something that deals with this topic in their videos. Their videos may not have dealt with this topic exactly, however, there were references in some form of the plight of dealing with negative flack from others while attempting to better yourself. Because this is a topic that I already think about and experience, as most of you probably do as well, something within me told me to address this in my own way. The crabs in a barrel mentality will never truly end in our society, but I feel that it's important for people that are trying to better themselves to persevere regardless of what others may say or think.

I'm a firm believer that for every action that a person takes, there is also a reaction. Whether it's for better or for worse, I believe that this state of mind applies to everything in life. Now going more into the context of this topic that we're dealing with, every positive action that we may take towards bettering ourselves will not always be met with a positive reaction from others. As I stated earlier, some people will not be happy for you because of their own insecurities and in some cases, people will negatively project those insecurities onto you. Most of the time, this action is conveyed solely as a way to deter you from whatever you feel is best for your own life. Now some people are able to press on despite all this, and ignoring their detractors comes relatively easy. However, for others that are facing this kind of backlash from others, blocking out the negativity from the doubters and haters can be a daunting challenge. In some cases, this can eventually lead to some people feeling bad or guilty for what they're doing to better themselves, which can stir up emotions that question whether or not we're doing the right thing. I know it sounds crazy for many, but it is a fact that there are people in this world that deal with this on a consistent basis. What's even more unfortunate is that this type of emotional abuse often comes from the ones that know us the best.

Now that we've established why there are people who will make you feel bad for doing things that will better yourself, I want to talk briefly about the primary way that others are able to do this. Going back to what I stated earlier, I believe that much of it deals with emotions. We all know that our emotions play a huge role in the things we do from a moment to moment basis. In some ways, our emotions often guide our actions and decisions. Much of this depends on what our emotional state is at that particular moment, which solidifies that our emotions have a big impact on whether we make good or bad choices. One thing that I think many of us tend to forget is that some people will often us their own emotions as a way to control us. Take this for example. How many times have you said no or didn't adhere to someone that you care for wishes, and then you found yourself changing your mind because they maybe begged or displayed emotions of disappointment towards you? We've all done this at some time or another to get what we want, and we all have fallen prey to others doing this to us. This is an example of how people use their emotions as a way to control others, and this is often the method that people will use as a way to make you feel bad for wanting to better yourself. Now I'm not saying that everyone is like this, however, this is something that we need to look out for when people are doubting something you may be doing to better yourself.

So how do you combat against people that go out of their way to make you feel bad for doing things that you think will better you? From my perspective on this topic, I just think that you have to listen to and trust your own instincts. We can't allow other people to deter us from whatever paths that we may be on towards the journey for self-improvement. Additionally, try not to fall victim to the emotionally insecurities that others will project upon you. Like I stated earlier, we live in a crabs in a barrel society, and you'll find that even the people that you're close to will sometimes subtly not be happy for you when you're changing for the better. Again, much of this is their own insecurities, so don't allow those to keep you from moving forward. Anything that you feel will better you as a person can never be truly bad. Why? Because it's your life, and only you can know what will make you happy in this life. I'll just end by quoting a lyric from a song called Sober Soldier on's album 'The Workout'. "When you make a positive change people will judge you, some will take it personal, but don't let it budge you." Keep on pressing forward my friends, and never allow people to make you feel bad for wanting to better yourself.

Well that's all I have for this time folks, so I'm going to go ahead and end this one. Thanks once again for those of you that stopped through for another installment of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'. Like always, I hope that some meaning and understanding was gained from this. Furthermore, I hope that someone found it inspirational and meaningful to their life. I'm all about keeping it as positive as possible here, and I try to use this blog as hub where others can find inspiration. We've arrived at the weekend, so I hope everyone enjoys and has a safe one. Alright I'm gone people, so have a good one. Until next time, I wish you all peace and positive thoughts. See you in the next one!

©2016 Bradrick H. All Rights Reserved.


  1. Aww... How apt! Thank you for this post, Brad. It made me feel better! :)

    1. Thank you for stopping by Marie! I'm glad it made you feel better. All the best!