Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Opinion On Confidence vs.'Cockiness'.

Throughout our lives, we are always going to hear the words "cocky" and "confident". A lot of people associate these two words as basically being one in the same, while many others like myself believe there is a difference between the two. I do believe that there is a fine line between having confidence in oneself, and being so cocky that one comes off as being arrogant. I was taking one of my regular evening walks yesterday, and I thought to myself that it would be a good idea to put down my thoughts on what I consider a difference between the two. This is another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective', and thanks for taking out the time to check it out.

Before I begin to gives my thoughts on this topic, I want to say that I'm no expert on this issue, and that these are strictly my own views. As a matter of fact, I think that this is one of those topics that is very subjective in the sense that there really isn't a right or wrong, but rather a topic that's subject to each individual's own belief. I say that to say this, if you don't agree with me on this particular topic, you totally have that right. Alright, lets get into it. Now before I begin to differentiate what I consider to be two different meanings, lets define what confidence is.

The most basic and straight to the point definition of confidence is defined as "having trust or faith in a person or thing". In my opinion, an individual that is confident in themselves normally hold themselves and their abilities in high regards. I think that a confident person is someone that rarely if at all beats themselves up for making mistakes, and are proud of themselves and certain qualities they may possess. For example, lets use a basketball player in this instance. In my opinion, a confident basketball player doesn't waver often on the court. He may come down and miss three straight baskets, but doesn't let that break his confidence to the point where he is afraid to take the game winning shot if need be. Now lets discuss the word cockiness.

When I looked up the standard definition of the word cocky, I found the following definition to be honest and straight to the point. The definition I found for cocky was "conceited or arrogant, esp. in a bold or cheeky way." I personally think that definition says quite a bit when you think about it for a sec. Now when I personally think of someone that is cocky, I think of someone that could be confident in themselves, but also has a level of insecurity about themselves that they've attempted to bury deep down within to shield from others. These type of individuals normally use their arrogant ways to compensate for an area in their life that they may not be totally happy with. Now despite all of that and whether or not a person can be classified as being cocky or confident, here is what I personally think that distinguishes the two. Again, this is just my own opinion.

There is something that I've noticed about people that I personally consider to be cocky. What I've noticed is that individuals that usually fit this bill compare themselves to other people a lot. When I say a lot, I mean A LOT! See, I don't think there is anything wrong with being confident in who you are, and allowing that confidence to be shown to others. I think that society in general is normally drawn to confident people, who know how to handle and carry themselves with respect towards others. However, when you're the type of person that is constantly talking yourself up, but comparing yourself or your abilities to that of others, then you've crossed that thin line between confident and cocky in my opinion. This especially applies to people that know they can perform better at something than others, or have certain things that someone else may not have. Since I like running, I'll use running as an example. If a runner tells other runners that he or she is a good runner, that is an example of being confident in their ability. However, if the same person says that they are the best runner in the world, they're not only lying because there is always someone better, but they're also comparing what their abilities are to those of other runners. In my opinion, a confident person doesn't need to do that. Why be overly concerned with what the next person can do? Shouldn't you be content with your own abilities?

I think it's normal for us to compare ourselves to others. Many of us use that as a motivating factor to strive to do our best. However, it's not necessary to look down upon someone else just because you can do something better. Confident people are content within their own skin, while cocky people compare what they have or can do to everyone else. At the end of the day, if you're a person that's okay with being cocky, that is fine. However, just remember that most people are turned off by arrogance, and you just may find yourself losing people rather than keeping them. Just my two cents. So to sum it all up, I do believe that there is a fine line between being confident and being cocky. Again, this is a subject that can be interpreted many different ways, so I'm saying again that I'm not saying that my viewpoints are right. It's just how I personally feel on the topic. Anyway, that's all that I have this time around, so thanks again for reading 'Brad H's. Perspective'. Feel free to leave thoughts and feedback. Thanks for stopping through, and I'll see you all in the next post. Peace!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Being Your Own MVP(Not Relying On Others For Validation).

Ever heard that old saying; "If you want something done right, do it yourself." I'm sure that most of you have heard it before and if you haven't, then I'm glad you heard it here for the first time. Now in regards to that statement, it is indeed a very true one. In fact, I'm sure you know or have been around someone that has expressed displeasure with how you done something, but didn't take out the time to do it themselves. Kinda makes me think back to high school when other students criticized those of us that tried out for the basketball team, but were too scared to give it a go themselves. I think I may be onto something using the basketball analogy, and how it relates to my topic this time around. Hmm! This is Brad H., and you're tuned into another edition of 'Brad H's Perspective'.

As always, thanks for stopping through, and also for bearing with me in my month long absence. So I titled this post 'Being Your Own MVP' right? I also made a basketball reference in the first paragraph of this post. You're probably thinking that I'm referring to being an MVP in basketball like LeBron James or Kobe Bryant right? Absolutely not! Although I like the basketball reference and the fact that it somewhat coincides with the points I'm trying to make, I'm definitely not talking about being an MVP in sports. In fact, I'm not a LeBron James nor Kobe Bryant fan. I'm talking about being your own Most Valuable Player in the most important game that any one of us will ever take part in. I'm talking about the game of life.

When an athlete receives the MVP award in their respective sport, they've been deemed the most talented and popular player in that sport for that time period. The recipient of the MVP award can change on a year basis, although there have been athletes to win the award multiple times in their respective sport. The difference with being your own personal MVP in life is that it's an award you have to appoint to yourself. Nobody gives it to you, nor is it an actual trophy or plaque. It's primarily a mental state of how you view yourself in this world, and how much worth and value you feel you have.

I think that a lot of us in life rely too much on validation from other people in respects to how worthy we feel we are. Instead of listening to ourselves, we spend too much time listening to what others think of us. For example, you see a lot of women who go for a certain look, or dress a certain way to impress others and gain attention. Many of them take the compliments they receive as validation for being attractive, when it really doesn't matter if a guy or anyone for that matter finds them attractive or not. Same thing with a lot of guys, and I'll admit that I've been guilty of trying to do the following before. A lot of guys spend a lot of time working out and trying to achieve a physique that we feel will make us more appealing to women, when a lot of these women could careless about how our body may look. Now I'm not saying that all men and women do this, but what does these two examples have in common? They both involve partaking in something that we feel will validate ourselves.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's not about how other people view you. It's all about how you view yourself. Of course we all should appreciate compliments of praise from others, but the view that we have about ourselves should always start within us first. We can't always rely on other people for validation. That's an obvious sign of insecurity. Instead, we have to work on being our own MVP, and recognizing our self-worth without the cosign of other people. Now don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that others pointing out positive things about you shouldn't be a confidence booster. All I'm saying is let those compliments and positive feedback from others be an addition to what should already be there. Think of it as an expansion of positive messages.

So to sum it all up, focus on becoming your own MVP. It all starts and begins within us. We have to always recognize our self-worth first. It's perfectly okay to struggle with this, but hopefully we're pointing ourselves in the right direction. Well that's it for this 'Brad H's Perspective' blog posting. I hope that you enjoyed it, and also gained some kind of fulfillment from it. Thanks again for tuning in, and I'll see you all again in the next one. Peace!

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Never Tolerate Disrespect From Others(Cutting People Off).

R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Those are seven letters that resonate with almost everyone in some way. We hear people mention them on television, and in movies. We've heard countless musicians shout out those letters in songs and most importantly, we've heard them from our parents, teachers, and elders throughout our lives. Respect is one of those words that is so simple, but carries a lot of weight. It's a word that we as a people use on a regular basis. However, there are a lot of people that throw the word respect around like it's an inanimate object. From my perspective, it seems like many of us have lost the ability to respect others, and there are too many of us that are tolerating disrespect from others.

Welcome to another edition of 'Brad H's Perspective'. I've somewhat been on an hiatus for the last couple of weeks, but I'm back once again. So this time around we're talking about the word respect, and how so many people tolerate disrespect from others. Before I get into my thoughts on this, I want to briefly define what respect is. I'm sure that most of you already know the definition, but it never hurts to rehash something that is considered to be important. I Googled the word 'respect', and it's defined as; "a positive feeling of esteem or deference for a person or other entity (such as a nation or a religion), and also specific actions and conduct representative of that esteem." When I think of the word respect, I think of acknowledging someone else as a human-being.

In today's society, respect is loosely given. I realize that a person must possess various qualities in order to gain respect from others. Any person that engages in unethical actions, or fails to meet their responsibilities in life, are not likely to be respected by others. However, it seems that people are respecting people for all the wrong reasons. Some of those reasons can include; material items, sexual conquests, and physical attractiveness. I think we've lost what it means to have respect others peoples thoughts, ideas, and opinions, especially if they don't match with how we individually view the world. If a person's views aren't considered popular in most people's eyes, that person likely won't be respected by a wider range of people most of the time. You don't always have to like what someone says, but you can still be respectful of their thoughts. Since we're all human and have different ways of thinking, this should both come natural, and be welcoming.

Here is a prime example of what I mean when I say people are giving the word respect to all the wrong things. There are guys in the world who tolerate disrespect from women because the woman is physically attractive. You got women that allow guys to treat them any kind of way because he does things for her, or has a certain amount of money in his bank account. Does being physically attractive and having a lot of money entitle a person to respect if their character is all messed up? I think that a person's character and how they carry themselves is more worthy of being respected rather than how much money they have or the looks they possess. Just because a person is better off or has obtained a certain level of success in life doesn't give them the right to disrespect others. Just my opinion.

It's like this; you never have to tolerate disrespect from anyone if you don't want. Many people are lacking self-esteem, which is the reason why most tolerate disrespect from people who they know don't respect them. A lot of people use a stern tone and tactics to demand their respect from others. I'm also a believer that you can do more without words as well. You can always choose to cut someone that you feel doesn't respect you out of your life. You may not be able to choose who you come across in life, but you can always choose whether or not you want to deal with them. You should never want to deal with a person who doesn't respect you, or what you have to say. It's okay to release these kind of people.

So to sum it up, you don't have to tolerate disrespect. If someone doesn't respect you, leave them alone. Any person that truly cares about you will respect you entirely, and not just for what you have or what you can do for them. Well that's it for this edition of 'Brad H's Perspective'. I hope you enjoyed reading this. Before I go, I want to reiterate that these are solely my own thoughts. I'm far from an expert on anything. I'm just a normal everyday person that is looking to motivate myself and share my thoughts with others. Till next time peace and love.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Complaining Is A Toxic Habit (Complaining With No Action).

Is it just me, or does it seems like the majority of people today complain way too much? It almost feels like there is something in the air or water that is causing people to hammer down on how certain things are or aren't happening in their lives. I know that we all complain and vent at times; wait a second. My bad, I think there is a difference between venting and complaining. Quite frankly, I don't see nothing wrong with venting at times. Key phrase in that sentence, 'at times'. I'd much rather be around a person that vents, rather than complains contantly. What's up peeps? This is your guy Brad H. with another concoction of 'Brad H's Perspective'. Thank you for lending your eyes to this blog post, and reading up on my thoughts.

Alright, so we're talking about how people complain so much these days. Complaining is a toxic habit in my eyes, and I try my hardest not to do it too often. First off, I want to start off with a question. Could someone please tell me what complaining constantly solves? I mean really, what does it solve? Now I have no problem with people that vent to others with their problems, as long as they're not overdoing it. Heck, lets face it, we all vent at times; we just have our different ways of doing it. However, one thing that really brings me down is people that complain constantly. The wild thing is that these types of people constantly harp, but don't seem to take any action. I'll give you an example.

I was watching this video on Youtube of a guy that I subscribe to on there. He issued a 100 push-up challenge in one of his videos, and he done 100 push-ups before challenging his viewers to do the same. After reading through the comment section of the video, many people were complaining about how he done the push-ups all wrong. So, what did he do? He uploaded another video, and done the push-ups the way that some of the viewers suggested to him. However, this time he told them not to say anything, unless they uploaded a response video of themselves doing the challenge. Guess what? People were still criticizing and complaining. What a surprise right? You got all these people not willing to do something themselves, but offering an opinion? Get out of here.

Now back to the subject. When I think of a person venting, I think of someone that may an issue going on. It may be a friend or relative, and they choose to talk something over with you. The main thing they probably want is just want you to lend an ear. After that, that's the end of it in most occasions. Nothing wrong with that. We all need guidance at times, and it feels good to be able to have genuine people that offer to lend an ear. But a person that complains all the time? Oh man they are the worse. These are people that come around with every single problem or issue that they're facing. They often don't take any actions to solve their problems, but instead attempt to bring you down because they are down. People like this are toxic in my opinion. I personally feel that anyone that genuinely cares about you wouldn't bring their drama into your life. The sad thing is that a lot of the people that we're close to are the ones doing this and because of that, many of us feel an obligation to them. Therefore, a lot of people put up with it when they normally would not.

The main theme that I want to get across in this week's post is that we need to stop all the complaining. It can become a bad and annoying habit, and it doesn't solve anything most of the time. If a person keeps it up, you're going to become a person that no one wants to be around. I can't speak for anyone else, but I can't stand being around a constant complainer. It totally kills my vibe, and I'm sure that it does the same for some of you. Instead of complaining so much, lets focus on taking action and solving our problems. Like the saying goes, "less talk and more action". I'm not saying that my view on this topic is right or wrong, just dissing out my two cents. I hope that there is some meaning and understanding taken from it. Well thanks again for checking out another edition of 'Brad H's Perspective'. I hope all is good and well with everyone. Keep the faith, and keep staying positive. See you all in the next one. Peace!

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Stop Analyzing Others As If You're Perfect. (People Just Aren't Humble Anymore).

I've noticed that many people in today's society are just not humble anymore. Sure the humble and humility complex has been here for as long as we can remember. However, I think that with the emergence of social media being prominent in our society, it has helped play a large role in people thinking they're perfect. Now more than ever, people are thinking they're better than others because of career, status, looks, and material items. I guess some people think that social media makes them a star in their own right. You probably think that I'm talking about material items when I mentioned people today not being humble right? Nope! I'm talking about people who constantly analyze and criticize others as if they're perfect, but don't take out the time for their own self-reflection. Hello everyone. It's ya man Brad H. at you once again with another edition of 'Brad H's Perspective'. Thanks for joining me once again.

Alright, alright, alright. It's good to to be back writing again on this blog. So this time around, I'm going to be discussing people that carry on like they're perfect, or seldom make any mistakes. These are the same people that always have some type of opinions(often negative) about what others are doing. They make a habit of talking down on others, or analyzing what the next person is or isn't doing. They tend to focus more on others, rather than wanting to fix and improve their own lives. Wait a sec; Oh that's right. Most people that think this way don't feel that their lives need improving. They have everything figured out, so that gives them a pass to belittle others. I can't speak for anyone else, but I personally find people like this to be arrogant. Let me explain why.

Last time I checked, everyone alive is a human-being right? We as humans are naturally flawed individuals. No single person is perfect no matter how much they believe they are in their minds. We each have different traits and attributes that we are skilled and talented at. Some things come natural for some people, while others have to put effort and work into learning and becoming better at. However, it appears to me that a lot of people think they know and have it all figured out to the point where they can pass judgement on others. Now I don't have a problem with people having their own opinion, and honestly we all pass judgement on others at various times throughout our lives. However, no one is perfect, which means that no single person in any place to to pass judgement on others without taking a look at their own lives first. Some people are so arrogant that they believe they're perfect, which in their heads give them the right criticize others. In my viewpoint, this is all messed up.

As I get older, I'm learning that old statement "damned if you do, damned if you don't" is very true. No matter what a person does in this world whether it's for the better or worse, there are always going to be people that have something negative to say. That's one of the reasons why it's important to not worry about or dwell on what others think of you too much. Since we're all human and flawed, I personally feel that anyone who is arrogant enough to criticize or belittle others should take out the time to examine their own flaws - and work on fixing them as well. Some people may think to themselves, "I don't need to fix anything." Yea right! There is always some area in our lives can be improved. It may vary from person to person, but there is always room for improvement. It's time to step off of that high horse, and keep ourselves more grounded.

So to sum it all up, lets stop tearing down or analyzing others, and start focusing on bettering ourselves. If you're better than someone else in a certain area of life, try helping to make them better instead of talking about them to others. You can help and inspire someone that way, and maybe even feel good about yourself afterward. If you have the time and energy to constantly talk down on others, then I feel you have time to examine yourself. I know that I've said it a lot, but none of us are perfect. Therefore, being humble should be something that should come natural to us. Think about it. Well that's all for this installment of 'Brad H's Perspective'. I really appreciate those of you that take out the time to read and leave feedback. Well till next time, I'm signing off. Take care, and God bless.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Effects of Stress * 2(Handling Problems).

Stress, stress, stress. It's a word that the majority of us are familiar with. It's either ourselves stressing out about things happening in our lives, or it's family, friends, associates, etc talking about the stresses of their lives. Stress has always existed, but it seems to be even more prevalent in today's society. You don't need me to tell you that; it constantly shows everyday. I'm a firm believer that stress can be a good thing based on what is causing it in the first place. However, stressing out over problems in our lives isn't good. Welcome to another one of 'Brad H's Perspective' blog postings. Thank you for taking out the time to read.

As you can tell, this weeks' post deals with the effects of stress and the handling of our problems. The goal isn't to solve anyone's problems. I mean lets face it, no one can truly solve our problems but ourselves. The goal this week is to show why stressing out over situations doesn't do anything but make things even worse. As of late, I've been asking people how do they handle stress. I've received mixed feedback from the people I've asked, which I consider to good thing. That's just more evidence that there is never one way to deal with things.

I'm the type of person that tries my hardest not to stress. However, I'll admit that I do at times. I think we all do. There are some situations and circumstances in life that are near impossible not to stress out over. But let me ask this question; what does stressing out really do for us? In what ways does it help us? I doubt that anyone can come up with a reason why stressing over our problems is a good thing, and if you do, please let me know. When we stress over whatever we're dealing with in life, it only takes a maybe already bad situation, and makes it even worse. You already have one problem, and added stress just adds another problem to your life. Where is the good in that?

Most of us already know first hand what stress can do. Besides the normal mental depression that it can make us feel, it can take it's toll on our physical well-being also. A lot of people turn to bad habits whenever they begin to stress. Some of those habits can include over eating, drinking, smoking, and drug use. Although they are different, these habits can really wreak havoc on a person physically if overdone. In some extreme instances, stress has lead to people taking their own lives - which I consider the worst thing that a person could ever do. There is no coming back from that.

So what can we do to combat stress? I don't have any answer for that. We all handle stress differently. Me personally, I like to workout whenever I feel stress. The only thing that I can say is that it's important to keep your mind busy and active whenever dealing with stress. Engage in activities and hobbies you enjoy. Don't hesitate to talk to someone you trust about your problems. Stress is certain to come in life, but we don't have to be entirely defeated by it. Stress only multiplies your problems, so it's important to now allow it to take you over.

Well that's it for this blog post. I hope that whoever read it enjoyed, and hopefully you found some meaning and understanding from it. I'm a person that is always searching for understanding myself, and I find that these postings are valuable to me also. Thanks again for reading, and I'll see in the next one. Peace!

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Change: It All Begins Within You(Being the change you want to see in the world).

Change is inevitable. We all know that nothing or no one stays the same forever. If something indeed does remain the same throughout the years, there is absolutely no growth happening. Let me rephrase that. Growth may be happening, but it's not the positive growth that we should be striving for. One thing that I hear and read from a lot of others is how the world is changing. Most of the time, people say it's changing for the worse. I'll admit myself that I concur that it is, but that doesn't mean you can't provide change. This is ya man Brad H. back at you once again with another blog posting of 'Brad H's Perspective'.

As you can undoubtedly can tell, this week's post will deal with change, and how it starts within us. As I mentioned earlier, the world is changing, and not always for the better. Negativity and unfortunate incidents seem to dominate in today's society. It's almost like there is something bad or negative taking place whenever we turn on the news -- which is one of the reasons why I seldom watch the news these days. However, despite all of the changes along with all the bad occurring, there are still a lot of good and positive things always taking place. There are also a lot of positive and inspirational people out there in the world. Keeping a positive mindset is vital, but can sometimes be tough.

So maybe you're like a lot of people who doesn't like how things are going in general. Maybe it's happening in your household, or maybe in your community. To be even more broader, it could be happening in your city or state. Maybe you don't like some of the actions and things that others close to you are engaging in. Maybe it annoys and frustrates you that so many people are allowing negativity to run their lives. You know what it's time to do? Let go of it all, and focus on yourself. If you want to see change in your environment, it must start within you first. You can't be an individual that wants something or someone to change, but you're not willing to change yourself in order to be an example for others.

It's never guaranteed that others will follow your lead in addressing issues important to you. However, if enough people see that you're trying to spread something you're passionate about through your actions, eventually someone will come on board. The key word is action. Any movement that takes or has taken place, never starts big. It's comparable to a snowball rolling down a hill. It starts out small, but becomes bigger as it gains momentum. It's the same exact way with change. So to sum it all up, we have to focus on saving ourselves first. Only then will we be able to be an example to others. And remember, don't complain about things that are happening if you're not willing to change yourself to be an example. That's basically it.

As always, I appreciate you reading another edition of 'Brad H's Perspective'. Hopefully you found some understanding via this post. I'll see you all next time. Peace!