Saturday, April 28, 2018

The Importance Of Not Tying Your Happiness To External Factors And Possessions.

We all have different views and outlooks on what defines happiness in this life. As with nearly everything in life that has to do with having an opinion, the belief of what defines happiness for a person is totally subjective. Happiness varies from person to person, but I think that most of us have a pretty good idea on what is generally considered to be happiness when it comes to the standard that our society has set. I believe in in American society especially, a good portion of the general standard for a person finding happiness comes from accomplishments and possessions. For example, graduating from college is an accomplishment that undoubtedly makes a person happy. The purchase or acquisition of a new vehicle will make a person happy as well right? In bringing up these examples, I am in no way saying that these examples shouldn't make an individual happy. However, what does things like money, degrees and cars all have in common? They all are things that are external possessions. Now to live and survive in this world, possessions that are of external value are most definitely required, so I'm not saying that we don't need to have these things. However, I do believe that much of our society and culture ties whether we're supposed to be happy or not to these external things. We're all going to have our own unique opinions and experiences on what makes us happy, and I'm not going to imply that external factors and possessions can't make a person happy. However, from my time here on this planet, I've personally come to develop the mindset that external factors aren't the end all be all to having happiness, and tying happiness in with these things can be a devaluing mindset to have.

Greetings ladies and gentlemen. This is Brad H. coming back at you all once again, and welcome to another installment of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! I am back to hopefully provide some perspective and inspiration for those of us that may be lacking in certain areas of our lives. I hope that all has been going well for everyone as of late. Always be grateful if things in your life are going well, because we all know how quickly things can change. If you've been dealing with some tough times or hardships recently, just keep on trying to make things better for yourself. Just like things can quickly change for the worse in life, they can also change for the better in an instant as well. Anyway, it is good to be back on here for another week. In the last topic that I covered, I talked about the NBA Playoffs that were just beginning at the time. We are nearly two weeks into the playoffs, and a nightmare that I didn't want to see happen came to fruition a few days ago. My San Antonio Spurs were defeated 4-1 by the Golden State Warriors. I'm being a bit sarcastic with the nightmare reference. As I mentioned in the previous topic, I expected the Warriors to win the series despite being a Spurs fan. The Spurs were just over-matched without having their best player, plus being without Coach Popovich after the passing of his wife just made it more of an uphill battle for the Spurs. While I'm at it, I want to extend thoughts and condolences to Coach Popovich and his family. I don't know the man personally, but he is one of the greatest coaches that we've seen in sports. Life related tragedies such as this take precedence over sports. Back to the Spurs; I just love how the team fought to the very end. It was just a reminder of why I've been a fan of this team for so long. There are likely going to be some changes with the roster over the summer, but I'm still proud of them. We still got a couple of series left in the first round that are going on, so we'll have to see what happens in the upcoming days. I do know that the New Orleans Pelicans vs. Warriors series should be a good one. Hopefully everyone is enjoying the playoffs so far. I know that I definitely have been despite the Spurs losing. Well I think that is enough soapbox talk for now, so lets go ahead and get into this week's topic of happiness and external factors and possessions.

As I normally do before covering the topics that I bring up at hand, I'd like to go ahead and give the standard disclaimer that I mention. We all have different views and outlooks on life. The goal with these topics isn't to focus on what is considered to be right or wrong, but rather to encourage others to open their minds up to seeing certain things in a manner they may not have before. Think of this as a hub for inspiration that can inspire forward thinking. Now with that said, I'm just a regular person with an opinion, so I don't expect everyone to agree with me. I'm all about us all being able to get our thoughts out there, and through the process of doing this, we can hopefully learn from one another. As I mentioned in the last topic, I believe that none of us are too big to learn from other people. As for some insight into why I chose this topic, I would just contribute it to recent thoughts that I've been having about how our society deems what is happiness. Most people talk about how happiness is a choice, which I generally agree with for the most part. However, there are many out there that don't share in that sentiment. If it were the case that they did believe that happiness is a choice, then so many of us wouldn't tie happiness to material items and possessions. If happiness is truly a choice, a person would probably be able to feel some form of happiness regardless of what they're dealing with and their circumstances. So with that being said, I figured it would be a good week for me to address my thoughts on this. I believe this is something that many of us already talk about to begin with, so I guess I'll go ahead and add my perspective on here.

Now you may happen be this kind of person, or you've probably found yourself around a person like this, but how many situations have you either said or been around someone that frequently talks about how unhappy they are with their life? Since I believe that we're living in a time where most people aren't happy, I'm willing to bet that most of you have been in situations of this nature. Now in saying that, I want to let it be known that despite me having my own personal beliefs on what happiness is, I'm not implying that any single person should be happy all the time. I understand that things happen in life so quickly that can cause a person to not be happy. Regardless of how happy a person is or seems to be on the outside, every single one of us have moments in our lives that can challenge our levels of happiness. I believe that this is all a part of the cycle of life and how we endure obstacles that are similar to the highs and lows of a roller coaster. Now, while constant happiness is unrealistic for the most part, what is a reality that most of us cannot deny is what I mentioned earlier. The general standard of what happiness is in our society often deals with accolades and possessions. Does everyone think this way? Absolutely not, but we all know that a lot of the reasons why so many people are unhappy with their lives deals with not having certain things. This can be anything from lacking money to lacking the love of a significant other in your life. The basis of why most of us as a people are unhappy comes from something(s) that is lacking in our lives, and these things are often external things. When you really think about it, this way of thinking shouldn't even be all that surprising in a world where most people are trying to keep up with what everyone else has, and there within lies the problem from my perspective.

I've stated this before on here, but because so many of us compare our lives to other people, we often tie our happiness in with what we're seeing from them. In other words, we base our happiness on a false premise of what we see from others. Many of us look at other people that are doing well, and we assume that they must be happy. However, it is always wise to be mindful of what you see on the outside isn't always the truth. Yes it is indeed true that a person can acquire possessions and wealth, but they can also be hiding the fact that they are miserable on the inside as well. Again, the acquisition of wealth and accolades is good, but these are things that can come and go. If we already know that these things are often temporary, then why do we put so much of what we think is happiness into them? Again, this is how our society has been conditioned over the years, and the reason why I address topics like this is to help encourage people (and myself) to realize that following what everyone else or society doe isn't always beneficial to your own PERSONAL life. The reason I put emphasis on the word personal is because only a person can truly know what is good or bad for them, and often what society encourages isn't always what is good for us personally. Anyone is capable of having happiness in their life if they learn to appreciate what they already have, and not be so concerned with what is going on with other people. This practice of constantly following what others do in my opinion is much of the reason why we lack happiness in our lives. Pair that with thinking that external factors and possessions are going to lead to happiness, and you'll find a world that has a lot of unhappy people. This is why I feel that it is important to not tie in happiness to external things.

What exactly do people mean when they say that happiness is a choice? From my perspective, it goes back to what I mentioned earlier which is the belief that a person can have happiness despite whatever circumstances they're facing. You probably don't really need a truckload of money to be happy if you have enough to take care of yourself. You probably don't need a big fancy vehicle to be happy if you have a perfectly working vehicle that gets you where you need to go. You probably don't need a ton of accolades and accomplishments to be happy if you have a good heart and treat people with kindness and respect on a daily basis. See where I'm going with this? It all boils down to perspective and how you see yourself. Even if you don't have much in the aspect of possessions, you are probably a rich person if you have family that care about you. If you have a true friend that you know without a doubt is loyal to you, then you are rich. I believe that it is the things in life that don't have any monetary value that brings us the most joy. I believe this is something that our society has gotten away from, which is why so many of us are unhappy with our lives. I want to encourage anyone who reads this that feel like they are lacking happiness in this lives to reevaluate the things that mean the most to you. Think about your relationships and interactions with others. Instead of always looking at the glass as being half empty, try and think about it being halfway full. Think of and appreciate all the good things you got going on in your life instead of all the thing that are wrong. Instead of looking at what you may be missing, take a closer look at what you already have. I think that if we begin to implement these habits, then we can get to a healthy median of happiness in our lives. That's just my perspective on it.

Well I think that I've said enough on this topic, so it is time to go ahead and bring this to a close. This has been another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective', and I want to give thanks again to those of you that came by once again. As I always close with, I hope that there was some meaning and understanding that was able to be gained from this. If anybody has any feedback or concerns, please leave those in the comments, or you can hit me up on my Twitter handle @BradrickH. Hope everyone is having a good weekend so far, and I hope that you all have an even better week ahead. We'll be in the month of May the next time I get on here, so lets try and enjoy the rest of April. Again, I hope you all enjoys the rest of the weekend, and I'll see you all for the next topic. Take care everyone, and stay encouraged! Peace out folks!

©2018 Bradrick H. All Rights Reserved.

Saturday, April 14, 2018

Keeping Your Cool In Today's Society Is A Strength (Not Allowing Others To Get You Out Of Character).

Society at large defines both strengths and weaknesses in various ways. What one person may consider to be a strength could be classified as a weakness by another person and vice versa. We all have opinions on what we consider to be a strength or a weakness. Something that I've noticed throughout my life when it comes to people and how we tend to react towards others when we feel disrespected or threatened is that anger is viewed as a sign of strength. I'm sure that some of you may have noticed this as well. You've probably seen this form of strength through anger taking place between others, or there has likely been an encounter where you were dissing out anger towards someone else. Maybe you have found yourself on the other side of taking the brunt of another person's anger directed towards you. Regardless of how you may have experienced this form of strength, it is something that we all are familiar with, maybe even more often that we should be. As I have mentioned, we all have various ways of viewing strengths and weaknesses. What if something that our society deemed as being a strength was actually a weakness that is masquerading as a strength? What if you were believing all this time that blowing up on others and trying to exude strength through force or intimidation was actually a form of weakness? Again, we all have different perspectives, and some of us have been on both sides of a topic like this. However, as I lived and learned, I've also come to realize that being able to keep your cool in today's society is one of the greatest strengths a person can have.

What is going on good people? Your guy Brad H. is here once again to present you all with another installment of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! Welcome back for those that stop through frequently, and a big thanks for those of you that are first time readers here. We are here for another week of inspiration and perspective that will hopefully help us all to open our minds and keep on moving forward. I hope that all has been well with everyone out there, and if that hasn't been the case for you, keep your head up and stay trying to move in a direction that can hopefully change that. Before we get into the week's topic, I want to talk about something that I'm sure most of you sports fans out there are probably happy about. The NBA Playoffs are officially here ladies and gentlemen! After 82 games and several months of basketball, the road towards the NBA Finals has begun. For me personally, the first round is always the most exciting because of the volume of games on a daily basis. For those of you that may not already know, I'm a San Antonio Spurs fan. The Spurs will be facing off with the Golden States Warriors in the first round. I'll admit that this definitely wasn't one of the best seasons the Spurs have had since I've been a fan. We're accustomed to seeing the Spurs as a higher seed compared to the 7th seed they are this season. Though it was a mediocre regular season, I'm still proud of how well they have done considering that they've been without their best player (Kawhi Leonard) for nearly the entire season. Gotta give Coach Popovich a lot of credit for the coaching job he has done. So do I think the Spurs will get past the Warriors in the first round? I try to be a realist, so I still give the Warriors the edge despite their injuries and struggles as of late. However, I'll never count out Coach Pop's ability to game plan against another team. We'll see what happens in the coming weeks. Alright, it is now time to go ahead and get into this week's discussion of how keeping your cool can be a strength.

As per the usual format I use here, I'm going to go ahead and use this section to give my disclaimer and how this particular topic came to be. We all have different ways of viewing life. The main goal here isn't to focus on what is right or what is wrong. The goal is to hopefully provide some inspiration for those that may need it, and to also encourage others to consider seeing things in a manner in which they may not have before. I'm just a regular guy with an opinion, so I don't expect everyone to always agree with me when it comes to these topics. I personally believe that we're never too knowledgeable or too old to learn from other people, so hopefully what I have to say can be of use to another person. As for how I came to wanting to discuss this topic, I would mainly credit it to something I heard someone say a few days ago. I was on Youtube listening to a video, and the person in the video I was watching referenced how he prides himself on being able to stay calm despite people trying to be disrespectful towards him at times. Watching him make reference to this made me think about past occasions where I've had discussions of this manner with others. As a matter of fact as I think about it now, I have written previous entries on here where I talked about how anger isn't always beneficial to our health and well-being. Now in saying all of this, I'm in no way saying that anyone should be a pushover, nor am I implying that we should never get angry. That is unrealistic. However, what I am implying is that being able to stay calm and collected in the midst of a chaotic moment can keep a person from making a mistake(s) that could be detrimental to their lives. Again this is all subjective and depends on how you think, but regardless of what you may think or feel, I hope that you hear me out on some of my points.

Something that many of us both dislike and hate to acknowledge is that some people in this world just enjoy getting a rise out of other people. We've all been around a person at some point or another that gets under our skin. Maybe they tease and pick at something you did or have done before, or they just are annoying to be around for whatever reasons. What's even worse is when that person notices that they are getting under your skin, and then they continue to keep on doing whatever it is that they're doing to bother you. The normal and often usual reaction for most of us is to get angry and lash out when this happens. The emotion of being angry is seen as a show of strength and intimidation to let whomever that is bothering you to stop whatever their doing to get you to this point. Now there are a couple of factors to consider when someone gets you to the point where you're angry and ready to do something you may end up regretting later. First off, the individual that is getting under you skin may very well heed your warning and chill. However, and this is the second point, what if it is someone that doesn't take your warnings seriously? You can easily find yourself in a physical situation that could turn dangerous, or you may end up damaging a friendship or relationship by saying something that you'll be sorry for later. Now I do realize that there are going to be some people and situations where these kind of confrontations are unavoidable for the most part. However, I personally believe that many of us allow ourselves to lose our cool in these types of scenarios because society has painted this image that anger is strength, and remaining calm is a show of weakness. In other words, I think that most of us know we shouldn't allow others to get us out of our character, but we choose to do so because it has been conditioned.

Now I'm going to use an analogy here that is going to probably sound pretty weird, but hear me out on this as it relates to this topic. Think of a professional bodybuilder for a sec. A bodybuilder exudes strength through their sheer physical presence right? When you see a bodybuilder whether they're training at the moment or not, they're automatically deemed as being strong by society. Now think of someone that is a professional yoga practitioner. This is a person that maybe physically isn't intimidating, but because they're extremely flexible and able to hold poses that the average person cannot, they have a strength that many others don't. I believe that a good portion of people in our society would make the claim that something like yoga is a weaker activity compared to lifting weights. Now the reason I bring up these two examples is because although they're two different things, both have their share of strengths and weaknesses in the eye of others. The same ideology applies when it comes to anger and staying calm from my perspective. Though the display of anger can be considered a strength and intimidating by society's standards, is it really if you're allow someone else to get you out of your character? Again, there is nothing wrong with getting angry at times, but why exactly do we find ourselves getting angry at others? Again, is it because it is a part of who we are inside, or are why allowing what is judged as being a strength to bring us out of our character? Those are questions that only we as individuals can answer, and it is something that we have to look within ourselves to find out.

As with how I explained how I came to write about this topic, I personally pride myself on trying to remain as cool and calm as possible, even when the actions of others try to get me to do otherwise. Like I mentioned earlier, some people go out of their way to try to get us out of character and make us angry. If you already know this to be the case, don't you think you're likely in a better position to handle these kind of people if you're able to stay calm? The point I'm trying to get across this week is that it is okay to keep your cool and not wild out every single time you feel someone has wronged you. I personally believe that a wise individual knows what battles to fight and what battles to walk away from. Too many of us find ourselves in bad circumstances that we could have easily just walked away from. Now I want to reiterate again that I'm in no way saying that you have to allow people to run over you by staying calm. There are always better ways to calmly express yourself without using a lot of bravado. I'm also not telling anyone else what to do or how to live. I'm just trying to encourage others to see that society isn't always your friend when it comes to certain things. People have done some regretful things by just trying to show that their tough, or because they were egged on by others. Don't buy into the hype that the only sign of strength is through anger and intimidation. That is what society wants us to think, but we're not going to let society dictate how we carry ourselves. We're going to live and do things on our own terms to the best of our ability, so remember to try and keep your cool always, and don't allow other people to get you out of your character.

Well that is all I have for this week ladies and gentlemen. I'm going to go ahead and get off of here, but I'd like to thank everyone once again that came through for another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! As with the usual, I hope that there was some meaning and understanding gained from this. If anyone has any feedback or concerns, please leave those in the comments, or you can hit me up on my Twitter handle @BradrickH. I hope that each and every one of you has a great weekend and an even better week ahead. Also, for all the basketball fans out there, I hope you enjoy the playoffs. I'm sure that I'll be talking about them more in the weeks to come, so good luck to everyone's teams unless you're a Warriors fan right now. Well I hope everyone enjoys the rest of the weekend, and I'll see you all in the next topic. Take care everyone; stay strong and stay encouraged! Peace out!

©2018 Bradrick H. All Rights Reserved.