Focusing On What You Can Do For Yourself (Expecting Things From Others).

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Something that I believe that most of us can agree with that more than likely grinds our gears is people not coming through for us when we expect them to. Sound familiar right? Yea, I'm sure that most of you can relate to the feeling of dejection and often anger that comes along with people not being there when you expect them to be. More than just being disappointed in people not coming through when you expect them to is when you feel that you constantly find yourself being there for the same people that you feel that you can't count on to be there for you. This in particular is something that really gets to people, and it often is accompanied with the anger that I referred to earlier. It has been stated time and time again that it is never wise to rely on others, yet it is something that most of us have to do occasionally. Because most of us often experience anger and frustration when it comes to this particular topic, it often becomes more easier to just say that you're done with going out of your way to help people. I mean what is the point of always being there for others, but when you're the one in need, it feels that no one is there to be found? Those who feel this way are totally justified in that way thinking, however, thinking this way doesn't lead to a life of peace in my opinion. For this week's topic, I want to put emphasis on another way of viewing this that can help bring us a little more peace inside when people aren't able to be there. Simply put, rather than expecting things from others, I think it is better to focus on what we can do for ourselves.

People, people, people! How is everyone doing out there? This is your boy Brad H. back at it once again, and I'd like to welcome everyone to another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! It is time to rejoice and dance uncontrollably now isn't it? Nah, I'm just kidding with that point, but yes I am here for another week to give my perspective on a topic that has been on my mind as of late. Before getting into the topic at hand, I'd like to give my thoughts to the people of California that are dealing with the wildfires that have been occurring out there. I saw some images on the Weather Channel a few days ago, and I was totally appalled at how scary it looked in some of those areas. I read that that death toll is around 26 now, and that it is expected to rise. There are also hundreds of people there that are still missing. This is truly a disheartening situation that hopefully ends soon. Also since my last writing, there was a mass shooting that took place in Las Vegas on October 1st. Again my thoughts are with everyone that was affected by this tragedy. as well as those that lost their lives. Although we've had these kinds of tragic events happen before, it cannot be said enough how crazy they are. I mean an event that is supposed to be enjoyable and fun turns into an unfortunate incident where 59 people lose their lives, and nearly 500 were injured. I guess there isn't much that can be said besides the fact that these are truly some dangerous and unpredictable times that we are currently living in. I hope that everyone is staying safe out there, and make sure to keep it tight with everyone that you're close to in your life. Sticking together is the best way that we can endure these trying times. That said, lets go ahead and transition into this week's topic of focusing on what we can do for ourselves, rather than what others can do for us.

Before we go forward with this week's topic, I'd like to go ahead and give the usual disclaimer that I mention before putting my thoughts out there. We all have different views and opinions when it comes to various topics. The main idea here is not to focus on what is considered to be right or wrong, but to hopefully provide inspiration to others that will help in encouraging us all to see topics in a way that we have yet to. I'm just one person with an opinion, so I understand that not everyone will share in my thoughts. That is perfectly okay, and I welcome any feedback and opinions by anyone that wants to share those. We're all here to educate and inspire one another, and the best way to do that is by having a willingness to be open to what others have to say. So for how this topic came to be; there wasn't anything in particular that I can point to in regards to why I chose to talk about this topic. As with a good portion of the topics I talk about, I can attribute general thought to how it came to mind. I will say however that I wanted to write about this particular topic in part of how relevant that I believe it to be. As I stated earlier in this post, we all have times where we feel like we're overextending ourselves to other people without getting anything back in return. Even if you don't feel as if you're getting something in return for being there for others, you probably have occasional bouts of feeling like the people that you're going all out for aren't always willing to do the same for you. If you have those feelings, this post is likely for you.

Picture this scenario for a moment; you have a friend or relative that relies on you quite a bit. This is a person that probably has a hard time dealing with various aspects of their life, and talking to you helps them in easing their burdens. Regardless of how early or late in the day or night it may be, you are there to answer the call whenever they call you. If you're busy or tied up with something and they reach out to you, you stop what you are doing to see what is going on, or you call them right back whenever you get the first chance. You truly love and care for this person and their well being. Now lets just say that you yourself start experiencing some difficulties in life, and the same way that this aforementioned person relies on you in their time of need, you are now needing their support and positive energy. However, this person is too busy and tied up to give you the same time and attention that you're accustomed to giving them. Of course they don't throw you entirely to the wolves, and they do make an effort to help you through your troubles. However, deep down inside of you, you can't help but feel as if they're not as devoted to being there for you in the same manner that you are for them. Now with all of that said, who is in the wrong when it comes to this situation? Are you wrong for overextending yourself, or is the person that you are always there for wrong for not doing the same for you? I personally don't think anyone is particular wrong depending on the understanding the two have, but I'll leave it up to you to determine what you think. Now in painting the picture of this particular scenario, there is something that I want you all to consider, which is the heart of what this week's topic is about. While it is okay to receive help from other people, expectations from others is never wise.

For those that may struggle in dealing with how unfair and frustrating it can be to constantly go out of your way for others, only not to receive the same back, expecting things from other people will often lead you to disappointment. I know that sounds pretty harsh, but it is also a reality. Regardless if it may be a family member or a friend, no matter how close of a relationship you may have with an individual, there will likely be moments where those people won't be able to be there for you. It doesn't necessarily mean they are bad people, or they don't care about you. It simply means that for that particular moment when you needed them, they weren't able to be there. The fact is that often the disappointments that we experience from those we care for is through no fault of their own. I'm not saying that there are cases where this isn't true, because we all know that even the people we love and care for can be shady at times. This is exactly the reason why I want to stress the importance of focusing on what we can do for ourselves, rather than what others can do for us. While it is true that none of us can totally navigate through this life alone and experience all the things we desire, there are times when we have to look within ourselves to solve some of our issues. As I mention in what feels like every topic that I bring up on here, it all starts with empowering and conditioning our minds to adapt. If you're accustomed to expecting other people to always to be there in your time of need, you have to work on training yourself to tone back on this.

Now as I stated earlier, one of the best ways that I feel to obtain peace in your life is to focus on what you can do for yourself. You may wonder; how exactly does this bring peace to your life? Well from my perspective, when you focus on yourself and what you can do for yourself to better yourself, you put everything on yourself. Yes, the key word that was mentioned several times was YOURSELF! When you put thing on yourself and take responsibility for yourself, you no longer have the option of blaming others. This gives us an added sense of peace, because you learn how to become comfortable with yourself and your abilities. Now I'm in no way saying that we needed to be selfish and vain. I'm also not saying that you should never ask others for help, nor am I implying that you should treat others badly when they're not able to come through for you. The mission is to put more emphasis on the things that we're able to do for ourselves and through that process, we hope to gain an added sense of peace and responsibility in our lives. Before I go, I want you all that may struggle with this to do me and favor and tell yourself the following: Instead of focusing on what others can do for me, today I'm going to focus on what I can do for myself. Alright, the quote that I came across that I felt sums up this week's topic comes from Dr. Steve Maraboli. The quote read; Expectation feeds frustration. It is an unhealthy attachment to people, things, and outcomes we wish we could control; but don't.

Well we have arrived at the end of another topic folks. Thank you as always to those of you that came through for another edition of 'Brad H's Perspective'! I hope that some of you were able to identify and relate to this week's topic, and I hope it provided you some meaning in your life. The weekend is here, so I hope you all enjoy. Whether it is time with the family, watching football or whatever it is you got going on, try to have fun in whatever you do. As I mentioned last time, there is definitely a lot of unsettling things happening around the world. However, we can choose make our own peace and happiness in the midst of chaos if we choose to. It's all about the mind baby! Keep on pressing forward everyone, and I look forward to seeing you all in the next one. Till then, I wish you all the best. Peace!

©2017 Bradrick H. All Rights Reserved.

Finding Positive Outlets For Channeling Anger and Frustrations.

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There's a saying that we're all familiar with that goes; "Nothing in certain in life except death and taxes." Whether you believe this to be true or not is up to you, but one thing that we cannot deny is how that quote has stood the test of time. For the sake of the argument that I'm going to be making in this week's post, I'm personally going to go a bit further and put the emotion anger in that category of guarantees that come in life. Being human means that we're going to experience a multitude of various emotions, and one of them is anger. While some people have no problem with expressing their anger and frustrations publicly, many of us try to lock this emotion away in an invisible closet that doesn't exist. Whether you're the former or latter in this case isn't what we're going to focus on this week. While constant or even every now and again anger is guaranteed, the way we choose to react to our anger isn't. We can always look for more positive outlets for channeling our anger and frustrations.

What's going on folks? It's me young Brad H. coming back at you again with another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'. How has everyone been doing out there? I hope that everyone has been staying up and maintaining since we last came together on here. If you happen to be a new reader here, let me be the first to say welcome, and thank you for stopping through. Well we're nearing the midpoint of the month of May, and we've definitely been seeing our share of showers and thunderstorms in my area as of late. Hopefully the weather has been accommodating to you all wherever you are. In the previous post that was written, I talked about the then upcoming NBA Playoff series between the Spurs and Thunder. Well my Spurs have fell in the series 4-2. I'm pretty disappointed about it, but I kinda had a feeling that they weren't going to win last night. Congrats goes to the Thunder, and if last night was Tim Duncan's last game, big thanks to him for all the great seasons he has given us. We'll see what happens with the Thunder vs. Warriors series next. Don't care for either team, but it should be a good series. Now that I've gotten on my soapbox for a bit, lets go ahead and get into this week's topic of channeling our anger and frustrations towards more positive things.

As I always look to mention in my writings, a person's individual viewpoint on any topic will always vary. My goal here isn't to focus on what is considered to be right or wrong, but rather to give anyone that reads something to maybe think about and evaluate further. My aim here is to use this platform as a way to express my ideas and opinions. If anyone happens to feel differently or disagree with my views on this or any of the topics I write about, that is totally fine with me. Alright, we're going to be talking about looking for more positive outlets to channel our anger this week. Back in the year 2014, I wrote a blog post titled "You Don't Have to Pay These People Any Attention(Controlling Your Anger and Reactions Towards Others)." It can be read here if anyone wants to read it, but that particular post focused on how we react to other people that may cause anger within us. Now for this time around, I want to address the point of looking for ways to turn anger into something more productive. In essence, this post not only deals with anger that is caused by others, but also the anger that can come with life in general.

Now we're all aware by now that anger for the most part doesn't accomplish, nor does a whole lot of good for us. Anger often triggers actions that lead to things like lashing out at others, violent tendencies, and doing or saying things that we often have to apologize for later on. I'm not even going to mention the health related downfalls that anger can cause, but to sum up the main point that I'm trying to make here, uncontrolled anger definitely isn't a good thing. Now a more controlled form of anger on the other hand can be a more positive asset at our disposal, but there's a certain amount of discipline required for most to get to that point. I'm far from an expert on this topic, however from my own personal opinion and perspective, one of the biggest keys to developing a habit of controlled anger is to first find more positive avenues for channeling our anger. Believe it or not, there are activities out there where being angry can actually be somewhat beneficial to our lives.

So what are some of the activities that we can use to channel our anger? Well there are many of them out there, so you'll have to find one that interests you. For the sake of this topic however, I'll give a brief story on an activity I engaged in years ago that brought me positive results whenever I found myself angry. Years ago, back in 2003, I received a workout set as a Christmas gift. During that particular point of of my life, I was severely out of shape, overweight, and constantly battling with anger due to my situation back then. I would often overeat and indulge in bad foods whenever I was frustrated, and on occasion, I would say certain things to people that I cared about that I shouldn't have. Basically, I was handling many of my problems all wrong during that particular period. Then something happened that I believe changed me for the better. I decided that whenever I found myself becoming angry or frustrated, I would go exercise with the workout set that I received. I'd take all my frustrations, along with that negative energy I was experiencing, and channel it all into working out. This lead to pretty intense workout sessions, and as a result, I began to lose weight and tone up. I believe that decision was the catalyst which lead me to seek out other avenues for becoming a more healthier individual.

Now I'm not saying that working out is the only avenue for channeling anger, and there are several outlets that I've discovered on my journey of trying to become a better person that suite me well. However, the point that I'm trying to make here is that none of us have to allow our frustrations and anger to control us. Regardless if you're sitting around being angry at the world, or engaging in bad habits during those periods of anger in your life, the results of it all is often counter productive. Why take your anger out on others when you can take it out at a gym? Why sit around being angry when you can get outside and be active, or at least read self improvement books or paint if you're sitting? Even when there are dark periods of anger in our lives, there are still opportunities for growth if we're willing to acknowledge that a change for the better is necessary. Again no one is perfect, and we're all going to deal with anger and frustration. However, just because the emotion of anger rears its head every so often, we don't have to allow it to control us. So to all my people out there, continue to look for more positive avenues that will inspire you to channel your anger for something better. Remember that even in the darkest of times in life, there is still always light.

Well that's all that I have for you all this time, so I'm going bounce out of here. Again, much thanks and appreciation to everyone that stopped by for another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'. As always, the hope is that some meaning and understanding was gained from this post. It's perfectly fine if that doesn't apply to you, and I'm still appreciative for anyone that hears me out. I hope everyone has a great weekend, and I'll see you all in the next one. I go by the name of Brad H., and I wish you all peace and positive thoughts. Till next time friends!

©2016 Bradrick H. All Rights Reserved.