The Importance Of Maintaining Boundaries In Your Relationships.

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We all have people that are a part of our lives that we consider ourselves to be close to. These relationships can range from anything from a parent to a close friend. There are so many different and unique ways that a relationship can be defined as being. When we feel especially close to another person and vice versa when it comes to another person feeling close to us, there is a level of connection that is deeper than with most. For example, when you have someone in your life that you consider to be your best friend, you are more apt to share with this person things that you likely would not share with your other friends. Because you feel a deeper level of trust with the person that you consider to be your best friend, you are more willing to open more of who you are to this person. Again, this kind of relationship isn't only limited to a best friend. The same may apply to a partner or spouse as well. I personally feel that the relationships that we maintain with others are the backbone of what makes us who we are as individuals, and I truly see it as one of life's wonderful aspects. However, there can also be instances in our lives where despite having a close relationship with another person, there are boundaries that are needed to be put up. From my perspective, knowing and establishing those boundaries are of critical importance as to whether or not a relationship with survive and thrive. 

Hello, hello once again folks! This is your man Brad H., and I'd like to welcome everyone to another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! This is a space that I use to express my thoughts on a topic that I think would be helpful towards us becoming better people in our lives. Thank you in advance to those of you that are joining me for another week. So for my soapbox this week, I'm going to sound like a broken record and give my thoughts on the Coronavirus outbreak that has taken place in the NFL. Those of you that are football fans have probably heard about the Steelers/Titans game that was cancelled due to players from the Titans team testing positive. Then today we found out that Patriots QB Cam Newton has tested positive, which has led to the postponement of their game with the Chiefs that was due to happen tomorrow. Though I'm happy that we are getting to experience sports in the midst of this pandemic that we're in, I was iffy about the NFL coming back for this exact reason. I really hope that the season is able to carry on through this unprecedented time we're in, but if this week's news is any indication of the future, we may see a cancellation of the season happen. Hopefully everyone stays safe, and we are able to continue to enjoy some form of normalcy during this time. Well that is my soapbox for this week, so lets get into this week's theme of maintaining boundaries in our relationships. 

So we're going to set this week's topic off by getting into what are boundaries when it comes to the people we're close to? Now this is something that can be purely subjective, and I want you all to keep in mind that I'm only giving my own personal perspective on how I see this. Now what is the definition of the word "boundary"? The definition I found via Google states that it is "a limit of a subject or sphere of activity." Now how does this correlate when it comes to how close we may be to a person? From my own perspective, I view it as a person not being inclined to reveal things to a person regardless of how close you may be. As stated with the definition of what a boundary is, there has to be a limit or cap on how involved a person is in your life. One of the biggest problems that I've noticed in regards to boundaries is that there are many people that feel that because you're close with someone that they're inclined to involve you in what's going on in their life. The thing to always remember is that you have very little ownership over another person, so no one is obligated to involve you if they would rather not. Now of course there are going to be times where they do involve you, but that doesn't mean that they're obligated to do so. I know some people may not like to hear that, but that is just the way it is, and you have to respect it when it comes to other people. 

Now that we've established a general sense of what the definition of what boundaries are in the context of our relationships with others, I want to use this section to address the best way to maintain boundaries. I believe that it is pretty straightforward, yet it is something that can be a struggle for many of us. From my perspective, the best way to maintain boundaries in our relationships is to not be overbearing when it comes to the people we're close to. As I touched on in the last paragraph, there are a lot of people that feel entitled when it comes to people they're close with. If you are someone that feels entitled to know everything that is going on with a person, regardless of what your relationship with them is, you have to work on remedying that. You have to be able and willing to give people both the time and space to open up when they're ready to do so. One of the things I've learned throughout my life is that you'll get much farther with a person that you don't constantly press. Again, I know that being overbearing can be tough because when you feel a certain level of closeness with another person, you feel as if they are an extension of you. While there may be some truth to that, both you and the person you're close with are still individuals. This means that there may be aspects of them that you won't always agree with and vice versa. 

So we've defined what boundaries are when it comes to relationships with others, and we've talked about the best way to maintain boundaries. Now we're at the point where I give my perspective on the importance of maintaining boundaries within your relationships. The main reason from my perspective why it is important to maintain boundaries in relationships is because having boundaries gives relationships the air they need to survive. I've talked about this in previous topics, but when you push and press other people too hard, you risk pushing that person over the edge. The edge in this instance is potentially fracturing your bond with that person. This is something that we all should understand because we all have things about ourselves that we may not reveal to people; even the ones that we're the closest to. Having someone not involve you in every aspect of their life doesn't mean that they don't care about you and vice versa. We're all human, which means that we do need interaction with other humans. However, we're all individuals as well, which means that we all need space on occasion. Your relationships with others will always thrive more if there are levels of boundaries. The goal is to keep people in your life; not push them away. This is why I feel that it is of importance to maintain boundaries in your relationships. 

That's all that I got for you all this week everyone. I hope that you all enjoyed this topic, and I hope that there was something that you all could relate to. Thank you once again to those of you that stopped by for another one of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! Like I always end on, if any of you have any feedback or comments to contribute, please feel free to do so. If you're on Twitter and would like to connect with me, you can follow me @BradrickH. I hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend, and I'll see you all in the next one. Stay safe everyone and peace out!

©2020 Bradrick H. All Rights Reserved.

A Person's Character Should Be What Matters Most.

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Maybe I'm the only one that thinks this way, but I think that the society within our world today puts more emphasis on things of lesser importance, compared to the things that really should matter in life. Many of us judge others from some of the most menial things. The way an individual looks, how much money they make, and the level of popularity someone maintains are all examples of this. Am I in the minority in thinking that there is more to an individual and this life in general than the aforementioned? What about characteristics like love, family, trust, and loyalty? Is there not enough emphasis put on these traits anymore? I'm not entirely sure, but I have a few thoughts on my mind that I want to share. Welcome to another concoction of 'Brad H's. Perspective'. Thanks for taking out the time to check me out again.

There was this show that used to air on ESPN back in the early 2000's titled 'Playmakers'. Although it lasted for only one season, it was and still is one of my favorite shows. I still watch the DVD's from time to time. Anyway, for anyone that isn't familiar with the show, it was a sitcom that followed the lives of players of a fictional football team. There was one episode where the team's coach scolded the team for some questionable and dirty antics that several of the players partook in. Part of his scolding towards the team included words that to this point I've yet to forget about. "Character matters, and you all just showed you don't have any." Those were his words, and even though it wasn't a long drawn out speech, I personally thought he said a mouthful.

So why have I brought up the traits and characteristics, and the speech from the television show that I did in the previous paragraphs? Well, they are part of the bigger topic that I have on my mind tonight. To be honest, I've been thinking about this topic for a few days now. The topic has to do with the kind of character that we as people display. In a society where getting ahead and doing whatever it takes to get ahead seems to matter most, it's easy for people to lose sight of how important a person's character can be. So what exactly is character? Character is defined as; "The mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual". Now from that simple definition, what words stick out the most?

For me, all of the words are important, but the words "distinctive", "moral", and "qualities" really stick out most to me. Character is something that many of us are lacking in today. It's something that can't be bought, only earned. Instead of us noticing what kind of character a person may possess, we're more concerned with the superficial things in regards to people. Prime examples; there are people in this world that stick with someone that may have little to no character, only because that person may be bringing something that's superficial to their life. Some people believe that because they maintain a certain status in society, they can treat others any kind of way and think it's cool. If you're that type of person, what does that say about your character? What's the point of having all of the wealth and material items that life can offer if you don't possess character? Do you think people will really want to be around you if you're like this?

You may find some people to stick around you - mainly only to use you, but you most likely won't be able to keep and maintain healthy and loyal relationships with others. You'll most likely be one of those people that others will smile around and try to manipulate to get what they want, but deep down they can't stand your personality. Friendships and relationships shouldn't be solely about how a person looks, or what material things they can bring to you. Real and meaningful friendships and relationships should be about people that help enhance your spirit, and push you to want to be a better person. I say all of that to say this; for those of you who don't believe that your character holds weight, it does. Remember, a person that's maybe homeless and on the streets that has a level of character will probably be a better person than someone who may have everything, but devalues another human-being because they feel they're not on their level. Just my opinion.

One day we're all going to die, and the type of character and integrity we displayed will most likely be the defining factor between whether or not we're forgotten quickly or not. Just my two cents. Well that's it for this weeks edition of 'Brad H's. Perspective'. Thanks again for tuning in, and hopefully there was some meaning and some understanding found through this blog post. All thoughts and feedback are welcomed. I'll see you all in the next one. Peace!