Showing posts with label acceptance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label acceptance. Show all posts

Saturday, September 19, 2020

The Importance Of Accepting People For Who They Are.


I believe that the good majority of us have a person or even a group of people in our lives that we would like to see change from. Maybe it's a family member that has a problem with opening up about their issues, and it frustrates you that they're not willing or able to do so. Maybe you have a friend that consistently makes bad choices when it comes to the type of people that choose to date. These are a couple of examples, but the idea of change can pretty much apply to anyone or anything. Now from my own perspective, there are a couple of ways that the desire to see change in others can be viewed from. You can view it from your own perspective, or you can see it from the perspective of the person that you're hoping to see change from. So what do we mean by this, you may wonder? When you look at it from the perspective the other person, you're hoping that they change for their own good. However, when you see it from your own personal perspective, you're hoping that they change for your own reasons. Now there isn't necessarily anything wrong with either way of viewing this, but when you want people to change for your own personal reasons, you're trying to shape a person to be who you want them to be for your own benefit. This is a form of not accepting people for who they are, and it is important to to aim to not being this type of person. 

What's good everybody? This is Brad H. coming through once again to bring you all another installment of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! I am here for another week of bringing a topic that I have been pondering on as of late. The aim is to use that topic to hopefully bring us all some wisdom and inspiration to help us to progress in our lives. Hope all has been good and well with you all since the last topic that I wrote about. I brought up in the last topic how hectic things has been as of late from Hurricane Laura. Though things are not entirely back to normal as of yet, they are definitely moving in the right direction towards progression. We've had quite a bit of doom and gloom during this year, but I know that all my fellow sports fans out there were extremely happy about the NFL returning. There were quite a few headlines that we could bring up after week 1, but I want to talk about Tom Brady's debut with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Brady had a pretty brutal day with a couple of interceptions thrown, which ultimately contributed to the Bucs losing to the Saints. Of course being in his 40's now, people are already wondering if he is washed up. I believe it is something to wonder, but I also think it is too early to question. I mean there wasn't any preseason this year, so it may take all of the teams a few weeks to get their chemistry down. I'm not a Bucs fan or anything, but the Brady potentially being over the hill headline was one of the biggest from the first week. We shall see if Brady is still elite as the the weeks go on. I just know that I'm glad to see football back. Now that I've gotten on my soapbox for a bit, lets go ahead and talk about the theme of the week; the importance of accepting people for who they are. 

Since this week's topic deals with why it is important to accept people for the way they are, I think it is important to use what was discussed in the opening as a starting point. I briefly touched on in the opening how much of this topic deals with two different perspectives. Those perspectives being your own perspective vs. the perspective of the person that you may be having a hard time accepting. Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to see someone you care for change for the better. That's not where we're going with this week's topic. I believe that there is a difference when it comes to wanting to see someone change for the better vs. wanting to see someone change because you may not like aspects of their personality. For example, if you have a friend that is addicted to drugs and their addiction is hindering their life, you're gonna wanna see them change. However, if you have a friend that is quiet and not much of a peoples person, yet you want to see them open up more for your own reasons, this is what I would consider to be the wrong kind of change to expect from that friend. Now there isn't anything wrong with pushing that friend to go out of their comfort zone more, but if it's not in that friend's nature to be that kind of person, expecting them to be someone they're not is wrong. 

Now from my perspective, and I'm sure that most people will agree with me on this, there are a couple of reactions that a person may get from trying to change someone. The first reaction is one of conformity. This is where the person that you want to see change makes an attempt to go along with what you're trying to do. The second reaction is more of a resistance, which is obviously where they don't conform to your whims of change. I want to focus on the conformity aspect. Now lets say you are trying to get a person to change for you, and they happen to try and conform to you. If you're expecting them to be someone that they're not, how long do you think that they'll be able to go along with it before going back to who they truly are? Like it or not, the old saying that you cannot teach an old dog new tricks is a fact. Most people are who they truly are at their core, and the only change that will often happen is the one that make for themselves; not others. Either way whether there is conformity or resistance, you likely won't get the end result that you desire when it comes to changing others. Furthermore, both of these can lead to friction in a relationship, which can ultimately derail everything. Then what? You've probably lost someone that you truly care for because you wouldn't allow them to be themselves. 

So we've arrived at the the point of this week's topic where we sum it all and bring it to a close. Why exactly is it of importance for us to accept people for who they are? From my perspective and besides the obvious that we've already addressed, overloading yourself with what others can be an added burden to your life. There are people in this world that really become entrenched so much in others lives that it affects their mental health. We should be striving to not be like this, but we should also be striving to be tolerant of others. We all have friends and family members that we may not agree with their lifestyles, and there are people that we're close to that more than likely feel the same way about us. You don't want people dictating you and telling you how to live, right? The same logic applies when it comes to others as well. You don't want to add an extra strain to your life because you can't accept others, and you certainly do not want to fall out with someone because you may have controlling tendencies. Again, there is a difference in wanting to intervene when you see trouble vs. pushing for change in part due to your own personal gain. Accept people for who they are, and you'll come to realize how much more your relationships with others will thrive.  

Well that about sums up what I have to say this week, so I'm going to go ahead and sign off for now. Thank you once again to those of you that came by. I hope that there was some meaning and understanding that was able to be taken away from this. If any of you have anything that you'd like to contribute to this topic, please feel free to do so in the comment section. Also, if you're on Twitter and would like to connect with me, you can find me at the handle @BradrickH. This has been another installment of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! I hope you all have a great week ahead, and I'll see you all on the next topic. Peace!

©2020 Bradrick H. All Rights Reserved.

Saturday, July 6, 2019

The Importance Of Accepting Things For The Way They Are.

There's an old and famous saying in life that goes; "You can't have your cake and eat it too!" Most of us have heard this before and know what it is referring to. It's basically a way of saying that you can't have everything you want in this life without giving up something. Once you eat the cake it is gone, which means you can no longer have it. I somewhat liken it to the idea of a person being selfish. If we're going to be completely honest with ourselves, I believe that most of us can grasp onto the idea that we're all selfish at times. Some people are selfish more than others, but regardless of how unselfish a person may claim they are, there is no way around we as individuals being selfish at times. We all have certain moments and instances in our lives where we have our own individual agendas that we want to work out in our favor. If you ask me there isn't anything wrong with that, especially when it doesn't come at the expense of hurting other people. I mean it's our lives, so we should do all that we can in order to make ourselves happy. Well unfortunately in this game of life that we're navigating through, there are going to be also be moments when things will not work out for us in the way that we'd like them to. We all have different ways of dealing with such moments, but there are times when these moments can become too much for a person to bear. Moments of this nature can cause us to become uncomfortable and can lead to unhappiness in our lives. I'm a believer that the majority of the unhappiness that many of us experience in our lives is pretty much self induced due to the fact that most of us have a hard time accepting the harsh realities of life.

Hey, what's going on people? This is Brad H. back once again, and you are now tuned into another installment of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! I am here for another week to bring you all a topic that can serve as a bit of inspiration to us all. Thank you all in advance for visiting, and I hope that things are going well in your life. You know, I'm beginning to believe that free agency in the NBA is becoming more exciting than the season itself. So since free agency has started, we've had several key moves happen. However, the biggest move happened last night/early morning when the biggest free agent on the board, Kawhi Leonard finally made his decision. He decided to join the Los Angeles Clippers, and equally as big was the Clipper acquiring Paul George from the Oklahoma City Thunder. All I can say is WOW! I'm personally happy with this, because though I'm not a Clippers fan, I think this is big for their team. Another aspect I noticed was how the sports media were trying so hard to push Kawhi to go play with LeBron James on the Los Angeles Lakers. You had guys saying that the Clippers had no shot of landing Kawhi, and some saying that there was a 99% chance that Kawhi would go back to the Toronto Raptors. I think that just proves that most of these guys that are commentators really don't have inside information like they claim. Not only do I think it's pretty dope how Kawhi zigged when everyone else seemed to want him to zag, but I think this move makes the NBA much more competitive. I mean lets face it, had Kawhi joined LeBron and Anthony Davis on the Lakers, it would likely be a foregone conclusion that the Lakers would win it all next season. It has been a very interesting free agency period so far, so we'll just have to wait and see what happens next. Alright, now that I've gotten on my soapbox for a bit, lets go ahead and talk more about this week's topic of the importance of accepting things for the way they are.

Now before I go into the heart of this week's topic on the importance of being able to accept things for the way that they are, I want to preface it by saying that pretty much anything can be applicable to this topic. It's not limited to just one or a few things, but more so applies to us as individuals in our own lives. As I've stated many times before, we're all individuals that have varying viewpoints. There are some things that certain people will be able to accept on move on from, while others may not be able to do so. It all comes down to you as a person. So now that I've gotten that point taken care of, lets go ahead and get into the meat of this week's topic. I think it would pretty accurate for me to say that we as people in general prefer to be in control of things. Like I pointed out earlier, we're all selfish in our own ways, so it would make sense that we'd prefer to have things go our way at times. Now I'm not speaking for anyone else, but I'm pretty sure that most of us have found ourselves in certain circumstances that we had little to no control over. It could have been a situation involving a family member or a friend, or maybe even a complete stranger. It could have been a situation or scenario that involved some sort of events happening that you had little to no control over. If we really think about it for a second, I think most of us can agree that we've dealt with dilemmas of this sort. Now if you think about a child that doesn't get their way, what does a child do when they don't get their way? They often cry or pout right? Well even as adults, many people act in this manner, yet instead of pouting we often become angry and frustrated right? From my perspective, it is in here where the problem lies when it comes to accepting things for the way they are.

Now expanding on my points of anger and frustration, from my perspective, they are often the starting points for more potential issues taking place in our lives. I mean most of us don't properly channel the anger that we experience in positive ways, which means that our anger frequently works against us. Last week I saw a video online of a Walmart employee throwing objects off of the shelves because he had been let go. Obviously he was angry, which is why he raged out in the manner that he did. Now depending on the circumstances and how much of a role that he played in what caused him to be let go, it is understandable why he would be angry. However, being let go by the company is something that he he no control over once they made the decision to part ways with him. It was no longer under his control, which means that there wasn't much more that he could do to change the situation. Rather than seeing the situation that he was in for what it is and thinking that maybe there is a greater meaning behind what happened to him, he made the situation worse with his actions that followed. Not only is he no longer employed with the company, but he will likely be facing criminal related problems. This is a prime example of what I mean when I say that we don't always properly channel our anger. It is also an example of what I mean when I say that anger and frustration are the breeding ground for more potential issues in our lives.

So why is it important to accept things for the way that they are? Well from my perspective, and from what I've already touched on, there are so many aspects of this life that you're never going to be able to change. It's like being in a relationship with someone that you want to change their ways, yet they never do, unless they are ready for it. It's not something that you can control, so it sorta defeats the purpose of even worrying about it. I believe that this is much how life in general is. We worry about and stress over so many things that we have absolutely no control over, which in turn causes us to be unhappy. There are many of us right this moment that are struggling with being happy in our lives because we're overly concerned with circumstances that we don't have the ability the change. I haven't always felt this way, but I believe one of the best ways to find happiness in this life is accepting life the way that it is. There has to be an understanding that not everyone is dealt the same hand when it comes to life, and that is one aspect of life that just has to be accepted. However, rather than focusing on people and circumstances that we cannot change, wouldn't it be more beneficial to put more energy towards the things that we do have power over. What am I primarily talking about right here? Yes, got you it, I'm talking about OURSELVES! We are the only ones that have the power to change our lives in a manner in which we can find peace and happiness. I believe that by doing this, we're able to gain a sense of power over ourselves and how we react to the world around us. So with all that being said, remember that there is only so much in this world you can control.

Well that pretty much does it for this week's topic. I'm going to go ahead and bring this one to a close as I feel that I've been able to get my point across. Thanks once again to every single person that stopped by for another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! I really appreciate you all, and you all inspire me to keep on dreaming and believing. If any of you have any comments or feedback to give, please feel free to do so. You can also connect with me on Twitter at the handle, @BradrickH. I hope you all have a great weekend, and I'll see you all in the next one. Oh by the way, stay safe out there everyone. I know there was a big earthquake in California yesterday, so everyone be safe and cautious wherever you are. Take care everyone! Peace!

©2019 Bradrick H. All Rights Reserved.

Saturday, December 8, 2018

The Dilemma That Is Caring About What Other People Think Of You.

I believe the idea of caring about what other people may think of us is one that can be a tough nut to crack. It's something that is constantly talked about among people. As with nearly every other aspect of life, it is one of those things in life that has a degree of variance. You have some people that claim not to care what other people think of them under any circumstances, and you have those people that care only when it comes to the opinions of certain individuals. Adding to that, you also have people that claim to not care what people think of them, yet it is all for show because they know deep down within themselves that they actually do care. Again, this is one of those things that has so many different ways of being viewed. It is for that reason that I consider it to be a dilemma for so many people in this world. Whether we like to acknowledge it or not, the thoughts and opinions of other people always have a degree of influence in this life. When a politician decides to run for a position in government, their ideas are shaped by the opinions of the voters. When a person goes for a certain position in a company, making a good impression on whomever is interviewing that person matters. It matters because the impression that person makes will often determine whether or not the interviewer will hire that person, which is a form of having to care what someone else thinks. People are always going to be judging others at some level or another, which is why the thoughts and opinions of others is something that we will never be able to completely escape. I indeed believe that it is important to care about the opinions of others. However, I do believe that it all comes down to perspective and prioritization. Since I have deemed this topic of caring about what others think as being a dilemma, I believe I should give my own personal perspective on when I feel it okay to care or not care about what other people may think of us.

What's up once again everyone in internet land? It is I, Brad H. back once again to bring you all another installment of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! For those that may not be a first time reader on here, this is an hub that I use to give my perspective on various topics that I think about and encounter in my life. Through the process of me giving my perspective, I try to paint a canvas of words that will hopefully serve as motivation and inspiration to others. Whether you are a first time visitor or a long time reader, I appreciate everybody that is tuning in. Wow, we are officially in the month of December! I can't speak for anyone else, but it is hard for me to believe that this year has flown by this fast. For me personally, it feels as if only 5 or 6 months have passed since January was here. I'd like to know something for those of you that would care to chime in. Am I the only one that feels like life tends to speed up the older that you get? I think that I may have asked that question before on here in the past, but I really would like for some of you that are 30 plus to respond if you'd like. I know that December is a special month for so many people that celebrate the Christmas holidays. This is the time of the year where we hang up Christmas trees, and exchange gifts with one another. However, and I've said this before several times, be mindful of those that are grieving during this season. I'm sure by now that most of you already know that quite a few deaths happen around this time of the year. This time of the years is supposed to be happy and joyous, but that just isn't the case for everyone. So I just want to challenge everyone to spend time with or call people you know that have lost a loved one around this time of year. It's coming up on a year when one of my great uncles passed away, and I can say without a doubt that going forward Christmases likely won't be the same for me. I just wanted to get that out there, but I hope everyone is having a happy holiday season so far. Alright, it is not time to get into this week's topic on the dilemma of caring about what other people think of you.

So before I go more into this week's topic, I'm going to go ahead and give the regular disclaimer that I normally give on these installments. We all have different viewpoints and outlooks on how we see life. Besides the obvious of physically looking different from one another, these viewpoints and outlooks are the things that make us all unique in our own way. Since we're all different in our way of thinking, I don't expect everyone to agree with what I'm going to be covering. The idea here isn't to focus on what may be considered to be right or wrong, but rather to hopefully use this content as a way to help inspire thought that can be used in bettering ourselves. Whatever information that I give isn't meant to only do one thing. I just hope that whatever takeaway people are able to come away from with this is something positive and inspirational. As for how I arrived at wanting to address the dilemma of caring about what others think of you as a topic of interest, I can solely attribute this to a discussion that I recently had this weekend with a few of my family members. The discussion itself wasn't about this specific topic, but rather about something somewhat related. A couple of days after thinking about what was being discussed, I walked away thinking about how difficult of the issue of caring what other people may think of us can be. Now again as I alluded to earlier, this topic is probably one that won't apply to many of you. Some of you genuinely may not care at all about what other people think, and that is totally fine. However, the biggest reason why I see this topic as a dilemma stems from the fact that depending on what type of situation that you're in, there are certain situations and circumstances where you may or may not have to care about what others may think. I think what I'm going to try and do with this one is point out some of those circumstances where it does and doesn't benefit us to care what others think. Again, what I'm going to be covering is my own personal perspective. I hope that I'm able to express this in a manner in which most of you will be able to understand. With all of that being said, lets go ahead and get into this.

I believe that when it comes to what other people think of you us, we have to be able to put it into the proper context. Generally speaking, giving thought to what someone else thinks of you stems from the desire to be accepted. It is in our nature as humans to want to be loved and accepted for being the individuals that we truly are. Because of this way of thinking, it is normal to care about what other people think of you in some capacity. For example, most of us care what our family thinks of us in some capacity. You may not care what they may think when it comes to some of your actions, but you likely care what they think when it comes to them accepting you for who you are. We've all seen or personally have been involved in situations where someone was at odds with a family member due to a choice of how a person decides to live their life. If you think about it for a sec, there wouldn't be any need for two people to be at odds if people didn't care to an extent what other people thought. Again, the majority of this comes down to wanting to be accepted, and I personally think there isn't nothing wrong with wanting to be accepted by the people that should matter the most in our lives. Who are the people that should matter? Of course your family and close friends, but also the people that have helped you in some capacity throughout your life. The opinions of these people matter because they have in some form or another taken an interest in wanting to see you become a healthy functioning person in society. Think of a person or people that invest their money into starting a business. These individuals hire people to carry out their plans right? Because they have an investment in the business, their opinions on how it should run matters. I know that is a different comparison, but I think that most of you get where I'm coming from with that. Now I'm in no way saying that you should ever bend to the people that you care about will. I'm just saying that due to them having invested in you, you should be willing to value what they think of you.

One of the many things that I've noticed as I've gotten older when it relates to what people think is that we as people often care more about what the wrong people think of us. When I say this, I'm referring to the way that so many of us care about what people that have never contributed anything to our lives think. So who are the people that we're talking about in saying this? Basically, any and everyone that has never been a part of your life in some way or another, which means that it refers to a large portion of this world. If we're being pretty honest here, most of us go out of our way to impress people because we care about how we will be perceived. I mentioned in the previous paragraph that this comes down to wanting to be accepted, and this also applies to when it comes to people in general. It is like most people have a desire to want to be accepted by everyone, when everyone isn't going to be accepting of your regardless of what kind of person you are. For example, think about how prevalent social media is in today's society. This is something that I've already discussed on here before, but most people that spend mindless amount of time posting on social media are likely seeking acceptance from others. Now I'm not trying to say that social media is a bad thing, but just like with anything else in this world, it can be overdone. I'm also not trying to imply that the person on your social media don't matter. I do realize that many of the people on our social media accounts are family and friends. However, we also know that we have people that are "acquaintances" on there as well. If you take a moment and ask yourself what has anyone on social media done for you, you will probably not be able to say much beside liking a few photos and posts. Likes don't do anything for us but feed our egos, so why should we care about what people on these platforms think? I used social media as an example, but this applies to the outside world also.

So what is the main point that I'm aiming to get across in this installment? Simply said, we should always be mindful of what people think of us, but this should only apply to the people that matter in your life. Any person that has fed you, clothed you, and helped you in some capacity in your life thoughts should matter more than someone that you don't know or barely know. This world we live in has become overly consumed with people seeking acceptance from all the wrong people. This epidemic that I would call it is driving so many people mad to the point where they're sad and depressed whenever someone doesn't like or accept them. From my perspective, this is not a healthy way to live. I always say that you don't have to be liked or loved by all people, you just have to be loved by the RIGHT people. The right people are those that will be there for you through thick and thin. They will motivate and inspire you to be the best person that you can be. Those are the people whom you should be mindful of what their opinion of you is. When it comes to everyone else, you have to evaluate and discern how what they may think or you or not benefits your life. I'm not saying that you should go through this life with a chip on your shoulder not caring what people think. That is the way much of our society thinks now, which is why I believe so many people have inflated and over-sized egos. There is always an opportunity to encounter people that will genuinely care about you in this life. We just have to be able to know the difference. So with all of that being said, I believe that you should care what people think of you in regards to the people that you care about. You should always be mindful of what others think of you as well, however, if and when what the outside world thinks of you comes to your detriment, then it is likely time that you stop caring about what those people think. It is okay to care what people think, it just needs to be in the proper context.

Alright everyone, I think that about sums up what I wanted to talk about in this installment of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! A big thank you once again to those of you that came by. As always, I hope that there was some meaning and understanding that could be taken away from this. If anyone has anything they'd like to contribute in regards to this or any of the other topics that I cover, please feel free to do so in the comment section. If you'd like to connect with or follow me on Twitter, you can do so at the Twitter handle of @BradrickH. It is time for me to depart for now. There's a boxing match coming on in a bit that I'm going to watch, so I'll check back in with you all on the next go round. Till then, take care everyone, and have a safe and happy weekend. Peace!

©2018 Bradrick H. All Rights Reserved.