Brad H.'s Perspective: September 2020

Saturday, September 19, 2020

The Importance Of Accepting People For Who They Are.

I believe that the good majority of us have a person or even a group of people in our lives that we would like to see change from. Maybe it's a family member that has a problem with opening up about their issues, and it frustrates you that they're not willing or able to do so. Maybe you have a friend that consistently makes bad choices when it comes to the type of people that choose to date. These are a couple of examples, but the idea of change can pretty much apply to anyone or anything. Now from my own perspective, there are a couple of ways that the desire to see change in others can be viewed from. You can view it from your own perspective, or you can see it from the perspective of the person that you're hoping to see change from. So what do we mean by this, you may wonder? When you look at it from the perspective the other person, you're hoping that they change for their own good. However, when you see it from your own personal perspective, you're hoping that they change for your own reasons. Now there isn't necessarily anything wrong with either way of viewing this, but when you want people to change for your own personal reasons, you're trying to shape a person to be who you want them to be for your own benefit. This is a form of not accepting people for who they are, and it is important to to aim to not being this type of person.

What's good everybody? This is Brad H. coming through once again to bring you all another installment of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! I am here for another week of bringing a topic that I have been pondering on as of late. The aim is to use that topic to hopefully bring us all some wisdom and inspiration to help us to progress in our lives. Hope all has been good and well with you all since the last topic that I wrote about. I brought up in the last topic how hectic things has been as of late from Hurricane Laura. Though things are not entirely back to normal as of yet, they are definitely moving in the right direction towards progression. We've had quite a bit of doom and gloom during this year, but I know that all my fellow sports fans out there were extremely happy about the NFL returning. There were quite a few headlines that we could bring up after week 1, but I want to talk about Tom Brady's debut with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Brady had a pretty brutal day with a couple of interceptions thrown, which ultimately contributed to the Bucs losing to the Saints. Of course being in his 40's now, people are already wondering if he is washed up. I believe it is something to wonder, but I also think it is too early to question. I mean there wasn't any preseason this year, so it may take all of the teams a few weeks to get their chemistry down. I'm not a Bucs fan or anything, but the Brady potentially being over the hill headline was one of the biggest from the first week. We shall see if Brady is still elite as the the weeks go on. I just know that I'm glad to see football back. Now that I've gotten on my soapbox for a bit, lets go ahead and talk about the theme of the week; the importance of accepting people for who they are.

Since this week's topic deals with why it is important to accept people for the way they are, I think it is important to use what was discussed in the opening as a starting point. I briefly touched on in the opening how much of this topic deals with two different perspectives. Those perspectives being your own perspective vs. the perspective of the person that you may be having a hard time accepting. Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to see someone you care for change for the better. That's not where we're going with this week's topic. I believe that there is a difference when it comes to wanting to see someone change for the better vs. wanting to see someone change because you may not like aspects of their personality. For example, if you have a friend that is addicted to drugs and their addiction is hindering their life, you're gonna wanna see them change. However, if you have a friend that is quiet and not much of a peoples person, yet you want to see them open up more for your own reasons, this is what I would consider to be the wrong kind of change to expect from that friend. Now there isn't anything wrong with pushing that friend to go out of their comfort zone more, but if it's not in that friend's nature to be that kind of person, expecting them to be someone they're not is wrong.

Now from my perspective, and I'm sure that most people will agree with me on this, there are a couple of reactions that a person may get from trying to change someone. The first reaction is one of conformity. This is where the person that you want to see change makes an attempt to go along with what you're trying to do. The second reaction is more of a resistance, which is obviously where they don't conform to your whims of change. I want to focus on the conformity aspect. Now lets say you are trying to get a person to change for you, and they happen to try and conform to you. If you're expecting them to be someone that they're not, how long do you think that they'll be able to go along with it before going back to who they truly are? Like it or not, the old saying that you cannot teach an old dog new tricks is a fact. Most people are who they truly are at their core, and the only change that will often happen is the one that make for themselves; not others. Either way whether there is conformity or resistance, you likely won't get the end result that you desire when it comes to changing others. Furthermore, both of these can lead to friction in a relationship, which can ultimately derail everything. Then what? You've probably lost someone that you truly care for because you wouldn't allow them to be themselves.

So we've arrived at the the point of this week's topic where we sum it all and bring it to a close. Why exactly is it of importance for us to accept people for who they are? From my perspective and besides the obvious that we've already addressed, overloading yourself with what others can be an added burden to your life. There are people in this world that really become entrenched so much in others lives that it affects their mental health. We should be striving to not be like this, but we should also be striving to be tolerant of others. We all have friends and family members that we may not agree with their lifestyles, and there are people that we're close to that more than likely feel the same way about us. You don't want people dictating you and telling you how to live, right? The same logic applies when it comes to others as well. You don't want to add an extra strain to your life because you can't accept others, and you certainly do not want to fall out with someone because you may have controlling tendencies. Again, there is a difference in wanting to intervene when you see trouble vs. pushing for change in part due to your own personal gain. Accept people for who they are, and you'll come to realize how much more your relationships with others will thrive.

Well that about sums up what I have to say this week, so I'm going to go ahead and sign off for now. Thank you once again to those of you that came by. I hope that there was some meaning and understanding that was able to be taken away from this. If any of you have anything that you'd like to contribute to this topic, please feel free to do so in the comment section. Also, if you're on Twitter and would like to connect with me, you can find me at the handle @BradrickH. This has been another installment of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! I hope you all have a great week ahead, and I'll see you all on the next topic. Peace!

Saturday, September 5, 2020

Why Excessive Neediness Is Counterproductive.

Regardless of how independent or strong that a person is or may claim to be, there is no denying the fact that we all need other people at various times throughout our lives. We as human-beings are relational beings, and the idea of navigating through life without help from others is something that I would think is nearly impossible. Now there is a famous saying that we've all heard throughout our lives that pretty much aligns with the idea that much of life is about having balance. The famous quote that I'm referring to that we've all heard says that "too much of anything is bad for you." Yep, that is the quote folks, and I know that you all have probably heard it before. Anything that is done in excess can pretty much be bad for our lives if not managed properly. I'm sure that there are many people that would argue that this doesn't apply when it comes to needing others, and I get that point since we need other at various points of life. However, I believe that just as with anything else in life, you can be too needy when it comes to the people in your life. People that are overly clingy often times think that they are helping themselves by being this way, but I believe that excessive neediness can be counterproductive to what you're trying to accomplish.

What's up everybody? This is Brad H. back one again, and I'd like to welcome you all to another installment of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! I am back on here to bring my perspective on a topic that has been on my mind as of late in hopes that it can serve as some inspiration for us all. Thank you to those of you that are joining me. This is the soapbox section where I talk about something that isn't related to the topic at hand. This week I'm going to get a bit personal with you all. If you are a frequent reader of this blog, you may have noticed that I didn't post last week when I was supposed to. I have schedule of posting every other week, and last week as my week to do so. Unfortunately I had to evacuate for Hurricane Laura that struck the Gulf Coast last week. Since being back home, there has been power outages happening in my area, as well as other things that have needed attending. I just want to apologize to those of you that are accustomed to be posting when I normally do. I have truly felt bad about it because in the past four years I have yet to miss a scheduled post. Times like this are a reminder of how unpredictable life can be, and that there are sometimes when more pressing matters have to take precedence. At any rate, I thank those of you that have checked up on me via Twitter. Hopefully now there can be some semblance of normalcy going forward. So now that I've gotten that out of the way, lets go ahead and talk about why neediness can be counterproductive.

Now before we get more deeper into this week's topic, I want to start off by letting it be known that I'm in no way aiming to shame or demean anyone that is excessively needy. Like I stated in the opening of this topic, we are all needy people to an extent, and there are some people in this world that truly have to rely on others because they have no other choice. The people that I'm seeking to encourage with topic are those that may be needy when situations may not always necessarily call for it. For example, we all know that this world has people that are disabled or elderly. People that may fit in this category may understandably be excessively needy. On the flip side, we have people that may make a conscious choice to be needy in order to manipulate others for their own personal benefit. These type of people are the ones that may have an extreme fear of losing someone that they care for to the point where they become overly clingy. Now people that are needy don't always do it for reasons of manipulation. Some people just cling to people and have a deep fear of losing them. Though they may mean well by being this way, being like this over a long period of time can lead to problems within your relationships?

Now I brought up in the opening how too much of anything can be bad, right? It is entirely possible that a person can love or care too much for someone else. Picture this scenario here. Imagine that you have a friendship with someone that always relies on you when they are having an issue. It isn't a friendship where they need you occasionally, but every single time something is going on with them, they're looking for you. You can be the most patient and understanding person in the world, but someone like this can being to wear you down when it becomes a constant thing. Now the person that is constantly needing you may feel like you are all they have, and that may even be true depending on the circumstances that surround this particular friend. However, there will likely come a time where you may not be able to be there for that friend, and depending on how this particular friend reacts to that instance, it can have a negative strain on that friendship. Though we may not always like to admit to it, there often times comes a point where people get fed up.

We're now at the point of this week's topic of getting to the grit of why excessive neediness can be counterproductive. As I alluded to earlier in the topic, being needy and clingy are symptoms of a fear of losing someone or something. It isn't wise to live this way, especially when you consider that we have little control over whether or not a person will always be in our lives. More importantly to consider is the fact that sometimes people get fed up when they feel that a person is being overly needy towards them. This can in some instances make the person you're being needy towards rebel against you due to feeling smothered. So in essence, the idea of thinking that neediness is a way of showing that you care is counterproductive because doing this excessively can lead to you losing what you're afraid to lose anyway. As I touched on several times throughout this topic, we have to have balance in our relationships with others. You have to give people space and learn how to figure out some things on your own at times. Again, we're all needy people at times, and that is quite normal. Just try to keep it to a minimum and you're able to, and most importantly remember that balance is the key.

Well that is about it for this week's topic on why I believe that excessive neediness is a counterproductive practice. I hope that I was able to bring a perspective that everyone that reads this is able to relate to. If any of you have any comments or feedback that you'd like to add to this, feel free to do so in the comment section. If you're on Twitter and would like to connect, you can find me at the handle @BradrickH. This has been another installment of 'Brad H.'s Perspective' brought to you by Brad H. Thank you once again to those of you that checked out this week's topic. I'll see you all on the next topic. Have a great week ahead and peace out!