The Importance Of Understanding That Some People Will Never Change Because Of You.

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Most of realize that throughout the course of life that change is going to be inevitable. This is something that I've talked about many times through this blog, and I'm pretty certain that this week's topic won't be the last time that I do. One of the more interesting things about change that makes it unique is that it entails so many things. It can literally be applied to almost anything because nothing stays the same throughout the course of time. The form of change that will be addressed in this week's topic deals with people. We as people and individuals all have unique ways that define who we are and how we do things. Now most of us are likely close to someone that have ways that we may not like. Beyond us just not liking their ways, they may have some characteristics about themselves that may be both harmful to themselves, as well as others. Again, this can isn't limited to just one thing, and includes a variety of ways to be defined. One of the most frustrating things that I think most of us can agree with is dealing with a person that isn't willing to change their ways. Most of you may have people in your life that are commonly referred to as being stubborn and hardheaded. These are the people that regardless of what you may say or do to try and help them, they constantly resist your advances towards helping them to see the error of their ways. If we're going to be honest here, this also applies to us as well, and I'm sure that even I myself have people that think of me in this light. Regardless of whether this describes you or not, the fact remains that some people are never going to change. More importantly, it is wise to remember that they will never do it because of you.

Yo, what's going on everyone? Back in the mix again is your boy Brad H., and welcome once again to another entry of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! I am back to bring another topic of interest that will hopefully serve as some inspiration for us all. Thank you in advance to everyone that are joining me for another week. So for this week's soapbox, I'm going to be addressing the tropical storm that hit the Texas coast last week. Now anyone that frequently reads my topics or follow me on Twitter know that I'm from Texas. Now the area that I live in got a lot of rain from Tropical Storm Imelda, but I don't live in a flood prone area. However, the neighboring areas in the Golden Triangle of southeast Texas got hit very hard due to being flood prone areas. The unsettling thing about all of this is that this was an area that was greatly affected by Hurricane Harvey two years ago. So many people that were affected by Harvey and maybe hadn't fully recovered from that nightmare had to endure it all over again. I even know people personally that have and still are dealing with the aftermath of both of these storms. Now I'm bringing all of this up to say that something isn't quite right when it come to the topic of climate change. I've brought this up before, it seems as if these storms are becoming stronger and weirder to the point where they don't seem to be normal. This personally leads me to believe that climate change is truly something that needs to be addressed. I know it's a topic that is being discussed heavily in the political world, but I think that it's time for the talking to turn into action. Who knows, maybe there isn't anything that can be done to prevent these storms from being at the level they are, but I think most of us can agree that the seasons are becoming hard to distinguish at times. Thoughts to everyone affected by Imelda, and I know Texas will bounce back. We all always do! So now that I've addressed that, lets go ahead and talk about this week's topic of understanding the importance of realizing that some people will never change because of you.

Now in the most recent installment of giving my perspective through this platform, I talked about how everything in starts with the person in the mirror. That particular entry was more about us as individuals and how we view ourselves from an internal aspect. While I'm a firm believer that what you think of yourself should matter more than what other people think of you, I'll concede that there are going to be occasions where what others think will matter more than you can imagine. I want to bring this up because there was a section of the last entry where I talked about how a person has to be willing to change for themselves first before wanting to change for others. I am sticking to that belief, but there is also another side to this that has to be addressed. What happens when you are the person that is wanting someone else to change? Maybe you have someone in your life that you care for, and you see them doing various things that have you concerned to the point where you fear for their well-being. Change tends to take on a different type of perspective when it's not us that is that are trying to change, but rather we're hoping to see someone else change doesn't it? It kinda puts you in the mind frame of being the only one in the classroom that understands what the teacher is teaching with no problem, and you're wondering why everyone else in the class doesn't get it. The innate desire to see someone you care for change their ways when see you see problems can be something that leaves you full of frustration, and it will have you pondering on why they can't just do better. Again, it takes on a different perspective when it is someone else that you can't control doesn't it?

There is another key component that we have to talk about when it comes to wanting to see someone change their ways. What I'm referring to here is the "You" factor. What do I mean by this? There's an extended belief that most people have when it comes to wanting someone to change, and that is the idea that they'll do it for me, ie you. We have this belief that we have a degree of power over others that will force change upon them. How many times have you said or heard someone say something to the effect of; "If you truly care about me, you'll change." Now there are going to be some instances where this more in your face type of approach will work. Though I'm sticking to my belief that a person has to be willing to change for themselves first, some people are willing to conform to changing if it means that much to someone that they truly care for. These are what I would consider to be the more flexible people when it comes to changing. Then we have those that regardless of what you say or do, they are never going to change their ways. You can preach to them till you get tired of talking, they're not going to change. You can actively take steps to get them the help they need, and they won't budge. You can reason with them, and they won't move. You can even go so far as to threaten leaving them, and they still won't adhere to you. See from my perspective, it is important to remember that a person is always going to do whatever they want regardless of what anyone says. This isn't only limited to the people they're close to relationship wise. Some people are going to love you, but that doesn't mean that they're always going to love you enough to do what you say or change their ways. This can be tough to accept, but I think it is a necessary reality from my perspective.

So why is it ultimately important for us to understand that some people will never change because of us? From my perspective, I feel this is important for us to be able to keep our own minds on the right path. I've talked about how some of us deal with frustration and anger cause people aren't willing to change their ways. We all know by now that anger and frustration when not applied in a healthy way can lead to our own set of problems. Now don't get me wrong, if you love and care for someone you shouldn't give up on them. However, what is the exact benefit that comes to us when we're dealing with an individual that isn't responding to us? From my perspective, I don't see any benefit, only potential problems. This is why we have to understand the people that we're dealing with in our lives, as well as the effect that having them in our lives plays on us. Going even deeper on this topic, there is also another darker reason why I feel it is important to understand why some people will never change. We've all heard of the saying "birds of the same feather flock together", right? There are some circumstances where you can find yourself bringing yourself down to another person's level by dealing with them despite their negative tendencies. Some people come to what I would deem as a "dark" realization that in order to get their point across that they have to sink to the same level of the person they're attempting to influence. I personally don't care for this tactic, and I say that because doing that can have even greater consequences. As much as some of us hate to acknowledge it, there are some people in this life that you can only deal with on two levels. You can either accept them for who they are, and realize that they're not going to change because of you. The other option is to leave them alone completely for your own sanity. Tough choices right? Choose wisely everyone!

Well I think I've pretty much summed up what I wanted to get across in this week's edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! Thank you to all of you that stopped through. Regardless if you are a first or longtime reader, I appreciate all of you so much. I hope that this has been a discussion that most of you can relate to. Please feel free to add anything in the comment section if your heart so desires. If you are on Twitter and want to connect with me, you can hit me up at the handle @BradrickH. I hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend, and I hope you all have an even better week ahead. We're coming up on the month of October, which is insane to believe. This year has gone by so fast. 2020 will be here before we know it, so lets make the rest of 2019 the best. See you all in the next topic! Peace out!

©2019 Bradrick H. All Rights Reserved.

The Importance Of Understanding That Everything Starts With The Person In The Mirror.

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There is no denying that this world would not be where it is now had it not had people that wanted to make a positive change inside of it. I'm in no way saying that everything going on in our world is all peaches and cream. There is definitely negativity and strife happening, as that has been happening since the beginning of time. However, for all the negative things that come along with living in this world, there is also positive things taking place as well. I talked in the last installment about self improvement and how it is a battle that you can only win. I bring this up once more because I believe that anybody that is focused on improving themselves will also want to help improve this world. When I say "improve this world", I'm not only referring to something that that will change the world like curing cancer. Though that would be a great contribution to this world, I am more so thinking along the lines of making a difference on a smaller scale. I'm talking making a difference that doesn't come with accolades or financial gains, but the kind of difference that helps those that are near and dear to us. This includes things like trying to be a better person for your family, friends, and your community. We often make it our mission to be there for others, but many of us forget the importance of making ourselves a priority. In order for us to be a light to this world and the people that are in it, we have to work on improving ourselves first. Furthermore, in order to improve ourselves, we have to understand that everything starts with the person that is staring at us in the mirror.

Yes, yes y'all! It is your guy Brad H. back once again, and you are now tuned into another installment of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! We are back for another edition to bring a topic that can hopefully serve as inspiration for us all. How have you all been doing? Great I hope! I know all of you that are NFL fans are doing more than great right about now. This is the time of the year that we all enjoy so much right? So what can we take away from the first week of the NFL? For the most part I can nothing as of right now besides the New England Patriots are going to be very hard to beat like always. That whole Antonio Brown fiasco with Oakland was just weird, but it seems like the Patriots are going to be his team for the time being. I notice people are jumping on the Cleveland Browns for how they looked in the week 1. Though I'm not a Browns fan, I think it is too early to say what teams are going to be like after week 1. We have to be mindful that a good portion of these players didn't even play much, if at all in the preseason. Of course they are going to be rusty, and their timing is going to be off. I am personally happy about how well my Dallas Cowboys done in the week 1. I'm not going to say too much since it was the Giants, but the offense looked pretty good; even better than I expected. Week 2 of the season is here, so we'll see what happens this week that is going to be of noteworthiness. I'll likely be bringing up more NFL topics on my soapbox in the coming weeks, so lets go ahead and transition into the theme of this week's topic. That would be the importance of understanding that everything begins with the person that is starring at you in the mirror.

Now in order for us to get down the importance of understanding that everything starts with the person in the mirror, we have to put into perspective what we're referring to. As with the last topic that was covered a couple of weeks back on self improvement, this week's topic is one that be viewed in many different contexts. It all boils down to how your view your life, as well as what you're trying to achieve with wanting to improve yourself. The bulk of the perspective that I'm going to be coming from with this week's topic blends in more with what I brought up earlier in regards to trying to be a better person for others. Though this is the perspective that I'm referencing in this topic, however you may view it in your own life is totally okay. Now there's a popular song that many of you are familiar with that came out in the year 1988. It was from the "King of Pop", Michael Jackson, and the song was titled "Man In the Mirror". I'm pretty sure that any of you that were alive at that time remembers this song and the chorus to it. However, for those of you that may be younger and not know what song I'm referring to, I would highly suggest going on Youtube or any other platform that has music and give it a listen. So in the song that we're talking about, Jackson is singing about how he wants to change his ways by starting with the person that he is looking at in the mirror. He goes on by saying; "If you wanna make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make a change." These are some pretty profound lyrics in my opinion, and though they could be applied in numerous contexts, I believe the general message is one that we can all relate to. We as individuals really have to evaluate ourselves before we try to make a difference. However, there is a potential issue that comes along with taking a look at ourselves in the mirror.

The potential issue that I'm thinking of that I referred to in the last paragraph is the idea that it can be extremely difficult for us to look at ourselves in a critical manner. This is something I've brought this up on several occasions via this blog in various contexts, but it is something that I strongly believe. It is much easier for us to judge and analyze others, rather than taking a look at ourselves. I believe the potential issue with this is that when we look at ourselves with honest eyes and critically, we will often find things about ourselves that we may not want to see. We all have aspects of our personalities that we try to shield and suppress others from knowing, and I feel this is nothing to be ashamed of. However, if you are an individual that actually wants to improve yourself for the benefit of others, you have to first acknowledge that other people can't be your sole reason for wanting to change. Picture this scenario as a example. Imagine that a guy is in a relationship with a woman, and the woman wants him to put more effort towards bettering himself for their relationship. Maybe she wants him to be more attentive to her or something of that nature. Now lets say that the guy adheres to her wishes and tries to show her more attention, but the kicker is that there is a more deep rooted reason for why he may not be as attentive. Now in order for him to change his ways, he must be willing to acknowledge that he has issues first. Also, he has to want to change for himself first, because if he just tries to change for her, there is a high probability that he will fall back into his previous patterns. I believe that change should happen naturally and start within a person first. Then, and only then through their acknowledgement and work towards changing, they will by default be able to help others.

So to sum up this week's topic and bring this post to a close, we have to always be mindful that we have to first be able to help ourselves before we're able to help others. This is why I feel it is of importance as to why we need to understand that everything begins with the person that is staring at us in the mirror. Every day that we're given to wake up and be alive to take a deep look at ourselves in that mirror, we have to be able to be happy and content with the person is starring back at us. There are too many of us that are looking at ourselves everyday in that mirror, and we aren't finding that we're consistently happy with what we see. Also, we try and reconcile the unhappiness we feel from not being happy with what we see by going out of our way to help others. Everything in your life should always start and end with you. If you want to change aspects of your life, that change has to always be one that you want to make for yourself. As with the example I provided earlier, we are always going to have people that will push us to be better. However, until it is a change that we want for ourselves and not only for the sole reason of others, the attempts will often be null and void. Now with all of that being said, I'm in no way saying that you have to be 100 percent happy with yourself in order to help others or contribute to this world. As I mentioned earlier in this post, we all have qualities about ourselves that we may not like, and we have to be willing to work towards fixing those things. It's not a perfect journey, however, I feel that becoming the best version of ourselves is how we truly make a change in the lives of others. Remember that it will always end and begin with you, and you'll find that you'll be able to make an even bigger and better impact on those that you care for.

Well that is pretty much all that I have for this week's topic on the importance of understanding that everything starts with the person in the mirror. I hope that this was a topic that most of you can relate to, and hopefully there was some kind of value that was able to be taken away from it. Thank you once again to all of you that tuned into another installment of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! Like always, if you all have anything that you'd like to contribute in regards to this topic, please feel free to do so in the comment box. You can also hit me up on Twitter @BradrickH. I hope you all have a great rest of the weekend, and an even better week ahead. I'll see you all on the next topic. Stay up everybody, and peace out!


©2019 Bradrick H. All Rights Reserved.