Don't Hold Them Back (Allowing People To Live And Grow).

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There can be many reasons as to why we sometimes want to stop the people that we care for from doing things. I feel that the most honorable reasons come when we genuinely care for someone, and we want to protect them from themselves. Imagine a friend or relative that maybe has an issue with drugs. It is both honorable and the right thing to want to try and keep them from engaging with something that is bad for them. Going out of your way to get them the help they need is a way to try and protect them. Then there are the more devious and deceptive reasons as to why we want to keep people from things. It's something that we often don't like to think about or address, but sometimes jealously and envy are the motivations behind why we try and keep people from certain things. I'm sure that many of you have heard of the saying that people may want you to succeed, they just don't want to see you surpass them. Overall, I do feel that for the most part that care and concern are the main reasons why we try to keep people from doing things. However, I also feel that many of us are blinded by our caring intentions. While we may genuinely care for and want what is best for the people in our lives, our own limitations and shortcomings often keep us from seeing the truth. What truth am I referring to? The truth that while we may care and be concerned, we are often looking out for our own interests for our own selfish reasons. Does this sound familiar? I'm sure that many of you have participated in this in some form or fashion at some point in your life. When I say participated, I don't mean just from the perspective of your wanting to keep others from doing something. I'm also coming from the aspect of people that may have tried to discourage you from doing something you wanted. Whatever side of the spectrum that you're on or have been on, it's important to not hold others back from living their lives and allowing themselves to grow.

Hey, what is going on with everyone out there in internet land? This the Brad H. back on the mic once again, and I'd like to welcome you all to another installment of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! I am back for another week of wisdom, inspiration and insight that will hopefully keep us motivated and moving forward. I hope that all has been good and well for you all as of late. Things with the weather have been pretty wild as of late haven't they? There have been some super hot temperatures all across the planet, even in places that aren't normally accustomed to that kind of heat. Hope you are beating this heat to the best of your ability wherever you are. Before I go into my topic for the week, I want to quickly address the latest big trade that happened in the NBA. By now, I'm sure most of you heard about the trade between the San Antonio Spurs and Toronto Raptors involving the Spurs sending Kawhi Leonard and Danny Green to the Raptors for Demar DeRozan and Jakob Poetl. Now those of you that are frequent visitors here know that I'm a Spurs fan, so this one definitely hits close home for me. I really don't like this trade to be honest. I was hoping that there was a way that Kawhi could be talked into resigning with the Spurs, but that bridge was more burned than I had imagined. I just don't really see where this trade benefits either team. I mean everyone knows that Kawhi wants to play in Los Angeles, so he probably isn't too happy about going that far up north. DeRozan was clearly upset with the trade because he was apparently told that he wouldn't be traded. I mean the guy personifies Toronto basketball, so it sucks for him that they shipped him off. I wish the Spurs could have acquired some younger players if they had no other choice than to deal Kawhi. I feel as if they have been fighting the rebuilding process since Tim Duncan has retired. They'll be competitive this upcoming season, but definitely not winning a title. As for the Raptors, it's a big help to them if Kawhi is fully healthy and gets on board with this team and decides to play. That remains to be seen this point, but I guess we'll have to see what happens in a few months. I'll probably be addressing some more thought on the NBA in coming posts, but NFL is right around the corner also. I'm sure a lot of you are excited about that also. Well I've talked on sports enough, so I'm going to transition into the topic for the week of not holding people back.

Before I go more into the topic at hand for the week, I'm going to go ahead and give the regular disclaimer that I state on every topic. Being that we're all unique and have our own individual thoughts and ideas, it is relatively unrealistic to think that we as people are always going to agree. The mission here isn't to focus on what is considered to be right or wrong, but rather to give some insight that inspires deeper thought. My wish is that my words can serve as a catalyst to help others see things in a manner in which they may not have. It's a fact that the old adage that when you know better, you do better is true, so I'm hoping that I can have that effect on someone out there. Of course I don't expect everyone to agree with me, and some of what I say may be obvious to many of you. Regardless of whatever your position or stance may be on this topic or anything else that I've covered on here, I truly appreciate those of you that have come through to read my thoughts. I know that I mention that quite a bit, but I honestly feel like it can't be mentioned enough. Many of the comments and feedback that I've received throughout the time that I've been doing this have been truly humbling. It has reassured me that there are still decent people in this world that want to make a difference in a positive way. I can't express my gratitude enough for that, so thank you once again to you all. So how did I arrive at this particular topic that I'm going to tackle for this installment? Just like with many of the topics that I cover, I have to give some credit to a family member and a discussion that I had with them recently. Beyond just the experience of that discussion, this is one of those topics that crosses my mind on occasion. I truly believe that this is something that everyone has to go through at some point in our lives. The goal that I have with this is to hopefully reach and get those that unintentionally may be holding others back from growing to see that there is another way to look at potentially letting go.

Now when I talk about not holding others back, this doesn't always necessarily mean stopping someone in a literal sense. This is one of those topics that can apply to many aspects of our lives, and there are so many different ways that it could be broken down into. For the sake of the points that I'm aiming to make, I want to discuss how we sometimes hold people back when we may not even be trying to. Now I want you to imagine that a big opportunity has come up for you that could allow you to experience some things that you may not have before. Lets just say that this opportunity will allow you the the chance to travel out of the country and experience things that you never thought you would have before. You are excited about this, so you go and tell everyone that you're close to about this upcoming change that will be happening in your life. The majority of the people that you inform of this are happy for you, and they feel like you should go for it. However, upon breaking this news, there is maybe a few people that you're close to that aren't entirely enthusiastic about this. These are people that love and care about you, yet they have their own reasons as to why you shouldn't go for this opportunity. In a situation such as this, often one of the biggest reasons why a loved one wouldn't want you to go is because they're afraid of losing you. They're probably used to seeing you on a regular basis, and they have become both physically and emotionally attached to you being around. Of course you care about this person also, but would you really want the pressure of choosing between them and your own happiness hanging over you? From my perspective, I highly doubt that anyone wants to deal with a situation like this, but this is a reality that so many people have to face at some point in their lives. As I touched on earlier, we all have our own selfish reasons for why we try and hold others back. However, if you really think about it for a sec, do you believe that attempting to hold others back is a battle that you're going to win?

Something that I've learned in this life is that when a person is given a choice between you and their own happiness, they're often going to choose their happiness. A person choosing their happiness over you doesn't mean that they do not love or care about you; it just means that you even putting them in a situation where they have to even choose shows that you're more concerned with yourself over them. Quite frankly, I personally feel that though while it may be admirable at times, it is also wrong, and this is something that I've had to ponder on in my own life the last couple of years. I can recall when my younger cousin with whom I'm very close to joining the Navy last year. He and I are and have always been very close, and I've been around him for all of his still young life. Naturally when he left for boot camp, I did feel a bit sadness about it as most of my family did. However, at the same time, he has to go and live his own life on his own terms. How would it look if I or other family members of his were discouraging him? Not a good look at all in my opinion. Not only is he now doing something that he enjoys, but he is meeting all kinds of people and having experiences that he otherwise may not have had. All of those factors bring me a ton of joy. Sure I wish I could talk to him more often and hang out with him more, but I'd rather see him living his life and being happy. We as a people often talk about how selfish people can be at times, and I do believe that is a valid criticism. Some people are and can be very selfish at times, but in this life if you want to find happiness, you have to be selfish at times. However, the important thing to take away from this is that while we do have to look out for our own self interests at times, doing this shouldn't come at the expense of others. You should always think of and put yourself first, but not if it keeps someone else from reaching their own full potential.

For those that this topic may apply to, especially when it comes from the aspect of possibly holding someone back, you have to stop regardless of how hard it may be. Again, it is natural to be concerned about others well-being when it comes to some of the decisions that they make for life lives. However, don't allow that to be a reason to discourage others from going after something they may want to do. If any of this applies to you, you have to learn how to shift your way of thinking. Instead of only looking at things from your own personal lens, think about the potential for happiness that whomever you're holding back could possibly gain for taking a risk. That person doing the things they enjoy should be something that brings you joy, especially if you play a positive role in that person's life's journey. Furthermore, often times when you're holding someone back, you're really and truly holding yourself back also. Depending on how close you are to the individual that you're concerned about, their journey also becomes your journey. The things that they may experience on their journey, whether for good or for bad, are experiences that they can share with you also This means that you have an opportunity to learn and grow through someone else. Not really a bad deal if you ask me. So to sum this all up, try not to hold others back. The same way that you have live(d) your life without wanting to have limitations should also be allowed for others as well. Try not to be overly concerned with your own self interests when it comes to others. We're only given one shot at this life, and I think that most of us that are 30+ can agree that this life passes quick as the years go on. The same way that we all want to live and enjoy life on our own terms is something that we have to allow for others. Don't hold people back, allow them to live and grown.

Well that is all I got for this week everyone. I hope that I want able to express myself in a way that made sense for those of you out there. My name is Bradrick H., and I'd like to thank everyone once again that stopped in for another installment of 'Brad H's Perspective'! I'm on the super late night tip this morning, so I'm going to go ahead and end this one pretty quickly. Had a lot going on yesterday, so I'm just now finishing this up at nearly 2:30 AM. Definitely a lot later than my usual posts, but I wanted to finish this up before I got off to sleep. If anyone has any comments or feedback, please leave those below. You can also follow me on Twitter @BradrickH. Alright I'm out, so I hope you all have a good week ahead. I'll be checking back in with you all soon. Till that time comes, take care and stay positive. Peace!

©2018 Bradrick H. All Rights Reserved.

Why Your Emotions Can Manipulate Your Into Thinking Things Are Better Or Worse Than They Are.

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When it comes to the subject of emotions and how we as humans deal with them, a consensus can be established that we all deal with them in different ways. Because we are all unique as individuals and the way that we react to the things we go through, the way we handle our emotions will always have variance. Some people are more emotional than others, and some people know how to keep their emotions in check for the most part. Whatever end of the spectrum that you may be on in regards to your emotions and how you handle them, emotions are just a human element that we all have to deal with. While we may not be able to control the fact that we naturally have emotions, the way that we choose to handle and deal with the emotional aspects of our lives is something that we can potentially get a handle on. Some may wonder why is it even of importance to get a handle on our emotions? The effects that our emotions can potentially have on us can be a tricky thing. For example, whenever something good happens in our lives, it is in our nature to feel emotionally good right? On the flip side of the coin when it comes to emotions, we naturally feel bad emotionally when something bad happens. Now when something good happens to us, or we find ourselves in a good situation, our emotions tell us that we should feel good and happy. However, because life is unpredictable and can change in an instant, the dynamic between being happy or sad has no guarantee. The fact that we often allow our emotions to dictate how we feel can often separate us from both the harsh and great aspects of life Because of this factor, our emotions can often manipulate us into thinking that things are much better or worse than they really are. This is even more of a reason for us to work on controlling our emotions.

Hey what is going on everyone? Fresh off the hot take, it is me Brad H. hitting you all up once again, and I'd like to welcome everyone to another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! I am here once again to drop some insight and wisdom that will hopefully serve us in our everyday lives. As always, I hope that life has been treating all of you as of late. For the soapbox section this week, I'm going to briefly give my thoughts on the NBA free agency so far. So LeBron James has decided to go to the Los Angeles Lakers. This wasn't that big of a surprise in my opinion. I think most of us figured he would be leaving Cleveland. I think that his family factored a lot into this decision. While I'm not a LeBron James fan, I do think that this is a good move for the NBA. The Lakers will likely be more relevant now than they have in recent years. With the Celtics being a powerhouse in the Eastern Conference now, I think that it is good for the NBA that these two storied franchises will be relevant. I think the most surprising move so far has been Demarcus Cousins going to the Golden State Warriors. I definitely didn't see that one coming. I think that it makes a lot of sense for Cousins though. After that ruptured Achilles he had, taking a huge pay cut and going to a team where he won't have to be the man will allow him to show if he can still play or not. I've been seeing people bash this move by him, but people need to remember that the majority of past NBA players that have suffered this injury weren't the same when they returned. Being that he is a physically bigger player, I can understand teams having concerns if he can get back to the level that he was before this injury. For everyone saying that the league is unfair and that the Warriors are a lock to win it all next season, I would say calm down. Signing Cousins is big for the Warriors, but it may not even have the impact that many people are expecting. There is a lot more that I could get into in regards to the NBA free agency, but I'm going to end it there for now. I could probably write an entire segment on this, but that isn't what this topic is about. With that said, lets get into why our emotions can play tricks on us.

As per the normal formula that I use, I'm going to go ahead and give the usual disclaimer that I use before addressing every topic that I cover. We all have different ways of thinking and viewing things in this life. The goal here isn't to focus on what is right or wrong, but rather to hopefully provide some wisdom that helps inspire us to see things in a manner in which we may not have before. Maybe more than anything else, I hope that these opinion topics will be helpful in the area of critical thinking. Naturally, I don't expect everyone out there to agree with the things I have to say. I'm not doing this to force my beliefs on anyone else. This is all about having a hub for inspiration and growth, and I cannot thank everyone that consistently read the topics that I cover enough. So for how I arrived at wanting to address this particular topic, I would have to say that a conversation that I had with my younger sister inspired me to want to address this. I can't help but thank my sister enough for much of what I talk about on here, because some of the ideas that I get come from discussions that I have with her. Beyond that, I felt as if this would be a topic that most people could probably relate to. I believe that many of us suffer from the inability to control our emotions at times. In saying this I am not trying to bash or criticize anyone, because I know for a fact that this is something that I have problems with at times myself. Furthermore, I believe that it is quite normal for us to allow our emotions to control us at times. I feel that there isn't a blueprint for properly addressing a topic such as this one. This is one of those things that we as individuals have to figure out what works best for us in helping us to overcome this.

Something that I have noticed within our society in regards as to how people view the thought of being emotional is that some people see it as a bad thing. You may have heard someone mention how a certain person is emotional in a manner which could be deemed as negative. I personally don't view a person being emotional as a bad thing. I just think that it makes us what we are, which is human-beings. Our emotions are what allow us to feel and experience both the good and bad in life. When you bite into one of your favorite foods you probably feel happiness, which is an emotion. When you fall and scrape an elbow or knee, you feel pain, which is also an emotion. There are so many different emotions both for good and bad that we can experience, so try not to allow other people to convince you that being emotional is a bad thing. Now while I firmly believe that experiencing emotions is both a good and normal thing that we as humans can experience, I also believe that they can also play tricks on us if we allow them to. Being an emotional person isn't necessarily a bad thing, but allowing your emotions to manipulate us can blind us from the realities of life. Some of you may be wondering; how exactly can our emotions manipulate us? Like I mentioned earlier, our emotions often dictate how we view various aspects of our lives. This can either work in our favor or against us depending on what the situation may be. While emotions are a part of our lives, the idea that we want to establish here is to not allow them to control our lives. We want to be able to separate between what reality is and what our emotions at that particular MOMENT are showing us. I put the word "moment" in all caps because often times whatever emotion(s) that we're experiencing is only a moment.

So what is an example of how our emotions can manipulate us? There are so many that can be used, but I'm going to use one that I'm sure that nearly all of us have experienced at some point or another; I'd like to call it the downward spiral effect. I liken to this to when we're dealing with something that has us down or depressed, and then through constant negative thoughts due to the situation that we're in, we find that our emotions start to creep in and makes the situation worse. So lets just say that you found out that you weren't accepted for a promotion or reward that you were hoping to receive. Naturally you would feel disappointed about this right? Now this is something that on the scale of life could be compared as minuscule compared to something like finding out that someone that you're close to has passed. Now depending on the mental fortitude of the person that has been disappointed by not receiving the promotion or reward, this can quickly turn into a scenario where their emotions can take this situation and make it even worse. You may begin to think and wonder why these things continue to happen to you. You may start to wonder if and when you will receive a breakthrough in your life. All of these thoughts can be self-defeating, and that is when those emotions can creep in. Those emotions can break you down to the point where you feel hopeless and depressed based only on the idea of not getting what you want in the moment. Again, I don't want to diminish something like this, but if you place it in the scale of life as I mentioned, you'll realize that something like not receiving a promotion is fairly small compared to more pressing issues in life. Again, this is how our emotions can manipulate us into thinking that we're in a far worse predicament than we think.

The same logic applies also when it comes to things going our way as well. Lets say that you do end up receiving that promotion or award that you wanted. Naturally you would feel joy and happiness right? I mean it would be normal to feel on top of the world and fulfilled, but lets just say that whatever promotion you receive comes with added responsibility that you may not be entirely ready for. While the emotions of joy and happiness would come along with this achievement, the added stress of having to live up to whatever you have received is still going to loom over you. The emotional aspect makes you think that you've reached the level of happiness you want, but the rational side that we often mask will come in and let us know that while things are going well at the moment, there may be challenges on the horizon. Again, this all deals with emotional content. I'm addressing this topic to help show that while we are emotional beings by nature, we have to try not to allow our emotions drown out the realities of life that we have to face. There's a saying that goes along the lines of that "you're never doing as good as you think you are, and you're never doing as bad as you think you are." From my perspective, whatever side of the coin that you may find yourself on in regards to this saying probably deals with your emotional state at the moment. The emotional aspect of life has caused many people to end up doing things that they ended up regretting. While controlling our emotions is a challenging prospect that life gives us, it is important in keeping ourselves on an even keel. We want to strive to be individuals that have the capacity to do things cause of our own free will, and not because we're allowing the emotions that we may be feeling at the moment to drive us. I challenge everyone to take a second and think for a minute if you find that you're allowing your emotions to get to you. Remember that although things may be going good or bad at the moment, your emotions can always trick you into thinking things are something they're not.

Well we have arrived at the end of another topic folks! I'm hoping that this topic was able to provide some inspiration for everyone out there. I also hope that I was able to write this in a way in which it has some meaning and understanding. This is your guy Brad H., and I'd like to thank you all for once again tuning into another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'! If anyone has any feedback or comments that you'd like to add, feel free to drop them down below. You can also hit me up on Twitter @BradrickH. There has been quite a bit of strange weather happening throughout the country, so I hope that everyone is staying safe out there. I know that it has been hotter than usual in areas up north. Believe me, being that I'm a Texan, I feel those of you that aren't used to the excess heat pain. It can definitely be brutal at times, so stay safe and hydrated. Happy 4th of July weekend to everyone, and I'll see you all in the next one. Till next time, take care of yourselves and keep on pressing foward. Peace!

©2018 Bradrick H. All Rights Reserved.