Learn How to Be Good On Your Own First.

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I feel that the social constraints and stereotypes that society has placed upon us has mentally messed up a lot of people. For many of us, Instead of trying to live our own lives on our own terms, we attempt to mold our lives in the form of how the general public will judge us based on those standards. For whatever reasons there may be, society has blindly given us the impression that something must be wrong with a person that doesn't have a ton of friends, or maybe isn't in a relationship with someone by a certain time frame. As I've gotten older in this life, I've come to realize that this way of thinking is truly a mistake from my perspective. In my opinion, we have to learn how to be good on our own first.

What's up to all my people out there? Welcome to another edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'. It has definitely been a grip since I've written anything on here. In fact, this is my first official blog post for 2015. Despite the long layoff, I'm back at it once again with a topic that I think most of us can relate to. Before I get into my thoughts in this post, I wanna start off by saying Happy Late New Years to everyone out there. I know it looks pretty sad and pathetic saying that halfway through the month of February, but like the saying goes; "Better late than never right?" On a serious note though, I hope 2015 has started out positive for everyone.

So getting back to the topic at hand, we're talking about why we should learn how to be good and happy on our own first. Now before I say anything else on this matter, I want to say that by writing on this topic, I'm in no way saying that no one shouldn't need nor ask for help from time to time. I'm well aware that regardless how much we may think we don't need others, everyone needs someone else's help every now and again. The gist of what I want to get across is how so many of us tend to rely on others being there for us in order to be happy and content. This way of thinking primarily applies to many of those that are maybe seeking out a relationship or potential life partner. I mean lets face it, something must be wrong with you if you're a certain age and you're single right? That is what society and the stereotypes that we've created want us to believe.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I personally think this way of thinking is all jacked up. Now if you would have asked me if I maybe bought into that particular way of thinking 10 or 15 years ago, I probably would have agreed with the masses. My views on various topics and subjects have undoubtedly changed. I view these changing beliefs I've developed as the process of becoming older and wiser. We all seek out the love and companionship that comes along with having that special someone. If it's not a special someone, it's likely a group of friends that we care about. These are the people that we want around us more often than not. There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting someone in our lives, or wanting to be around others. However, I feel that we put way too much of our personal value into other people. We tend to only be happy when these people are around and we're feeling good in their presence, but we're sad and depressed when they're gone, or if they've said or done something to anger us. It's like our emotions have become a direct chain reaction to others, which is not a good thing in my opinion.

Yes there are going to be instances where our feelings are linked to what those we care about say and do. However, it's something that shouldn't be happening all the time. Your happiness shouldn't be directly tied to other people. Instead, your happiness should begin and end inside of you. When it comes down to relationships and love especially, I have a belief that it shouldn't take a person finding someone to make them feel happy or whole. I believe that if a person is already happy with themselves, then the people that we choose to surround ourselves with will bring out even more of what should already be there. I see it as taking it to the next level. You're already good and happy on your own, and then you seek out those that have that extra gear to take your happiness even further. However, even if that gear happens to shift back into neutral, we will still find a way to be happy. Control your happiness; don't allow others to control it for you. That is just my two cents.

I believe I got the main ideas that I wanted to convey out there, so I'm going to go ahead and sign off on this one. I know that I tend to go on frequent hiatuses but trust and believe that no matter how long I tend to stay away, I'm still brainstorming and thinking of ways to get my thoughts out there for others to see. As always, I hope that there's some meaning and understanding that can be gained through these posts. Well that's it for this edition of 'Brad H.'s Perspective'. Again, I hope 2015 is treating everyone well so far, and I'll see you all in the next post. Peace!

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